Emotion is not just about feelings. It is the sum of feelings plus the distinctive thoughts (what we are thinking as we feel the feeling), biological states (the physiologic activities that are triggered internally and automatically associated with the feelings), and the action tendencies (what one is bound to do which is derived and governed by the feeling). If emotion is just about feeling, we can neglect it! But by the fact that emotion affects thinking, physiologic functioning and acting, it becomes big deal! Emotions are human warning systems that tell us what is really going in and around us, like an internal gyroscope, as per Dr. Maurice Elias’ analogy. Without emotional control Napoleon Hill likened a person to a runaway horse.
The Epistles of James advises: “Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.” Tao Te Ching harmonizes with this biblical verse in advising to “express yourself completely, then be quiet…open up to the Tao, then trust your natural responses; and everything fall into place.”
EQ, defined
The EQ proponent Daniel Goleman defines emotional intelligence as the ability to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power of emotions as source of human energy, information, connection and influence. Sense, in his definition, is not limited to the five perceptual faculties but includes the feelings that matter all the time. Understanding refers to a broader context beyond the logical evidences but may include hunch or gut-feel. EQ being a source of human energy, information, connection and influence is essentially important in our day-to-day grind and eventually our happiness and success amid the pandemic.
Another proponent Reuben Bar On defines EQ as an array of personal, emotional and social abilities that influence one’s ability to succeed in coping with environmental demands and pressures. The personal, emotional and social abilities certainly are rolled-in-one personality, which can propel a person up or down the climb through this pandemic journey.
To simplify, EQ is the connection of the heart and mind that bridges the foundations of building relationships and empowering (enabling) self and others to ensure happiness and success. EQ dictates our ability to manage ourselves, and our relationships with other people, through good times and bad times like these present times.
Competencies of emotionally intelligent persons
There are 15 key abilities of emotionally intelligent persons clustered by Bar On in five competency areas.
Under the area of Intrapersonal Capabilities, the key abilities of emotionally intelligent persons include the ability to be aware of one’s self, to understand one’s emotions, and to assert one’s feelings and idea. These lead to personal self-mastery.
The area of Interpersonal Capabilities includes the ability to be aware of and understand others’ feelings, to be concerned about people in general, and to establish emotionally close relationship. These clustered competencies strengthen social and people skills.
Adaptability is demonstrated by emotionally intelligent persons who are able to verify one’s feelings, to accurately size-up the immediate situation, to flexibly change one’s feelings and thoughts, and to solve problems. These spell resilience, which makes one survive and thrive.
Stress management is another area of competencies that includes the ability to cope with stress and to control strong emotions. These competencies have bearing on one’s over-all health and wellness.
The area of Motivational and General Mood Factors include the ability to be optimistic, to enjoy one’s self and others, and to feel and express happiness. These incite faith, hope and love, which bring persistent optimism and consistent joy.
The five tasks toward emotional intelligence
Emotionally intelligent people are able to perceive, appraise, understand, express, access or generate and regulate emotions. There are five tasks that could make a person emotionally intelligent.
The first task is to align feelings and reasons. Once feelings and reasons are aligned, the person is able to connect the faculties of feelings and reasoning that prevent one from being a slave of another. The emotionally intelligent person becomes attuned to what the heart feels over what one thinks and harmonizes what one thinks with how one feels.
The second task is to integrate awareness and emotions. Integrating awareness and emotion enables us to feel the feelings and know it is there when it is there. It prevents the person from being controlled by some unconscious emotional force. Awareness of one’s emotion enables its appropriate control.
The third task is to direct action with vision. With emotional intelligence, the person is able to act toward an envisioned future. It helps focus toward an end-in-mind so that the energies and efforts are directed toward that pre-determined ideal state of the future.
The fourth task is to enhance intrapersonal and interpersonal relationship. With emotional intelligence, the person’s relationship with the self and with others can be enriched. There is security in establishing relationships with others derived from the self-security that one feels within.
And the last task is to resolve problems and conflicts. The resilient nature of the emotionally intelligent person is derived from the ability to resolve problems and conflicts through all available resources with optimism that there are solutions and resolutions through choices from the many options that life presents.
EQ and the pandemic
The pandemic is taking a toll beyond everybody’s coping abilities. Hence, it elicits a crisis response. It evokes overwhelming reactions that heighten the level of our anxiety, which may strain mental and emotional health. It imposes upon all of us an undue extraordinary burden, which if not managed well may defeat one’s ability to function towards maximal potential, or at the very least toward self-preservation or survival.
To develop EQ, we must reflect upon our feeling and thinking—to check on how they align to positively affect the many facets of our daily lives. We should put our biological nature in check—to ensure that our emotion is not endangering our physical wellness. We need to rein our decisions and action tendencies toward a positive growth and forward movement toward our envisioned future.
We also need to enrich our relationship with others—to strengthen our support system as social beings. But the greatest strength comes from our relationship with the self. Our selves remain as the greatest resource we have in being in-charge of our lives, creating footprints today through the journey of the past toward the opportunities of the future. We need a daily dose of EQ.
EQ, as my daughter Lyza puts it, makes us either head toward the light at the end of the tunnel, or head on as the light toward the end of the tunnel.
Last week was AQ, this week is EQ, watch out for SQ and DQ in the next Entrepreneurs’ Footprints.
For feedback, please send e-mail to drcarlbalita@yahoo.com.