LAST week, I shared my learnings that gift-giving can help all of us take control of too much screen time. I suggested “active gifts” that may jolt kids and families into active play mode. I also shared excerpts of an interesting online article I read by Dr. Screen-Free Mom on choosing “screen-free” type of gifts.
This week, let me expound on more examples from her article on SPOIL (Social, Play, Outdoor, Independent Work, Literacy), which are categories to pick from when doing gift-shopping:
1. SOCIAL—GIFTS THAT ENCOURAGE SOCIAL INTERACTION. “Children benefit a great deal from uninterrupted time spent connecting with parents, siblings and peers. You can encourage this through a couple of different kinds of gifts.” Dr. Screen-Free Mom suggests gifts of “memories,” like trips or museum tickets; as well as board games that encourage family game nights. I personally advocate “family gifts” now. Instead of giving individual gifts, why not put together the individual budgets to give a more meaningful family gift? I found a map in Hobbes & Landes last weekend where you can scratch the countries you have visited. She also suggests gifts of “philanthropy.” These are gifts that teach children about caring for the community.
2. PLAY—GIFTS THAT FOSTER FREE PLAY. “Encourage free play in your children with toys that are 90 percent your kid’s imagination and 10 percent toy.” She suggests toys like:
Dress up. “Dress up toys are a wonderful, long-lasting addition to any child’s collection. These encourage complex sociodramatic play, which is associated with social problem-solving, the development of sustained attention and planning abilities.” She prefers gender neutral dress up clothes, or suggests gifting a trunk or dress up station for kids.
Play kitchen or doctor center. “Last year, we built our kids their very own market and café. They love it. It takes just a little bit of skill, some play food and a play kitchen. This year, we used the same idea to organize their doctor stuff into a veterinarian/doctor center. We added a doctor kit, shelves for the stuffed patients, an eye chart and some doctor forms.”
Blocks. “They may seem simple, but that’s the genius in blocks. Plus, there are a million versions to choose from now—from traditional wooden blocks to the more complex and magnetic Magna-Tiles.”
Stuffed animals. “Research has demonstrated that children ascribe a deep personal life and attachment to simple character objects, like stuffed animals. Children play in incredibly complex ways with simple stuffed animals, assigning them roles and feelings, taking care of them and helping them.”
3. OUTDOOR—GIFTS THAT ENCOURAGE BEING ON OUTDOORS. She gives examples like something they can push or ride, or play with in the yard. It can be a playhouse, a trampoline or a swing. For me, sports is definitely a “must now.” Gifts like gears for swimming, basketball or soccer can encourage the whole family to have family sports time.
4. INDEPENDENT WORK—GIFTS THAT FOSTER WORK. Dr. Screen-Free Mom is a big fan of allowing children to do a little work around the house. She points out that “genuine work [in the form of chores or other challenging tasks] is qualitatively different from play.” She defines independent work as any task that requires a child to sustain their attention for an extended period of time and results in pride when an outcome is accomplished. Gifts that encourage this includes:
A chore chart or cleaning set. “While it’s not how we traditionally think of gifts, giving a child the responsibility of chores has tremendous psychological benefits. Make it fun by providing them with their very own cleaning set or a new chore chart.”
Work the child naturally loves. She suggests observing the child like a scientist. Whatever you see they are working on, whether biking, skateboarding, writing the alphabet or drawing, she encourages us to consider holiday gifts that acknowledge and encourage their work. As a parent, I appreciate a nice message on a card to encourage my kids to try their best in their chosen interest.
A pet. Her suggestion is to start small for young children, like a goldfish. For those with pets, we see our children learn an incredible amount by caring for an animal, especially when you give them distinct and regular responsibilities.
Puzzles. As traditional as puzzles are, I believe it is the start of teaching “grit.” It is great to see the skill of following through when my kids finish a puzzle. But my advice is to start them as young as two years old with easy two to eight pieces. Let them want more.
5. LITERACY—GIFTS THAT ENCOURAGE READING AND WRITING. Gifts like books, a reading nook, or even a bookshelf, can encourage kids to allot and value their reading time. I remember when my daughter saved up all her reward and holiday money for a Muji bean bag three years ago. I initially thought it was frivolous, but she said she wanted a reading corner. Happily enough, she still uses it today. Happy active gift shopping, everyone.