“There are places I remember,” croons the late John Lennon. But in my case, let me tell you about certain people from my past whose plights have brought to light a few meaningful insights, which I would like to share with anyone who cares to listen.
When I first met Nathan, he was a struggling graphic artist, barely able to survive on a hand-to-mouth kind of life. Jobs did not come on a regular basis. When he got jobs, payments were never on time.
One day, Nathan’s mother died. The wheel of fortune suddenly went Nathan’s way. His mom left substantial real-estate properties, which were sold as soon as possible. The proceeds from the sale were divided among the heirs, which included Nathan. His share was quite substantial. But instead of investing it wisely, Nathan and his wife chose to use the money instead to purchase a house, a van, the latest audio system and an expensive computer system.
He went to the most fashionable auto shops and bought high-priced accessories for his van, just to be one step ahead of the joneses and relish the look of “envy” in other people’s eyes. It looked to many observers that Nathan and his wife were in a hurry to make their wealth visible and, thus, gain a notch in social esteem. The couple couldn’t wait to live the dream.
For a while, Nathan’s friends were impressed. Clients’ attitudes changed after seeing him being driven to meetings in an expensive looking van. He was no longer just a struggling freelance artist.
Somehow, it changed him as a person also. He became boastful and arrogant. He made it known to secretaries of his clients that he couldn’t tolerate waiting anymore. He turned down projects that he deemed too small for him; in some cases, he priced himself too high. Some friends who referred jobs to him but got turned down could only shake their heads ruefully, recognizing a typical case of a nouveau riche whose newly acquired wealth had gone to his head.
But in just a short time, the money seemed to slip through his fingers, until it ran out. Meanwhile, his freelance business wasn’t picking up. His clients became scarce. He had problems collecting from his few remaining clients. He couldn’t sustain his business.
Nathan panicked. He sold his house and his van. He dismissed his chauffeur. He tried selling his computer. Nobody bit at his steep asking price, until he was forced to sell it real cheap.
Then he was admitted to a hospital due to a kidney infection of some sort. His wife was forced to borrow money from acquaintances. A few lent them some and most of his former friends did not even bother to visit him at the hospital. So-called friends were suddenly “unavailable” when he called.
Last I heard, Nathan became a psychological wreck and turned to religion.
Yes, for a while, Nathan the “one-day millionaire” enjoyed moments of being on top, as well as the trappings of the good life: a home of his own, the latest entertainment gadgets, limitless credit, all the personal effects that seem to be the badge of a successful individual in today’s world.
From a struggling artist to a one-day millionaire. He got instant gratification.
Today, we live in a world that wants what it wants. And wants to have it right now. ”Now na!” is the constant refrain that used to be loudly spouted by TV hosts of variety and game shows.
We have completely forgotten the saying: “easy come,
easy go.” We disdain the virtue of patience, which as one put it is a “virtue
with a lot of wait.” We no longer want to work for something. All we’re after
is the pleasure of possessing things that seem to put us above others, even if
they are beyond our means, or we don’t
really need them or have not earned them.
Because of this, we go for the easier way, or the path of least resistance, the shortcuts. And so, we have lost the joy of savoring the fruits of a job well done, or a celebration well deserved. “The more difficult, the sweeter the victory,” goes the old maxim. Remember also what old folks used to advice us: “Kung walang Biyernes Santo, walang Domingo de Gloria.”
In an old book I excavated from a garage sale entitled Men Who Are Making America by B.C. Forbes, I read about 50 individuals who, at that time, composed the honor list of America’s foremost achievers. I noted that there are three key characteristics common to these 50 wealthy individuals: one is the willingness to sacrifice many pleasures in youth in order to get an education; two is the willingness to sacrifice pleasure in order to save and accumulate capital; lastly is the ability to overcome desire for showing off.
What this tells us is that financial security is not something that just happens or comes to you. It takes sacrifice, a tremendous effort of denying oneself and delaying satisfaction until the right time has come. It takes a life of conscious proactive effort. I call it Postponed Gratification.
Postponed Gratification entails curbing your impulse to acquire beyond your resources. Our ancestors know the wisdom of frugality expressed in the old Filipino saying: “Matutong mamaluktot, kung maliit ang banig” (Learn to contort your body to fit the mattress.) Don’t shy away from hardships and difficulties of living within your means.
Yes, Postponed Gratification. It begins as an attitude, which after a while, is transformed into a way of thinking and doing, a habit of the heart and eventually a way of life.
It may not be your cup of brewed wisdom or insight, but I assure you it has served me well as a guiding principle in my mature years.