I HAVE shared many a story about my grandparents’ influence in my life. To this day, I always take their life example of lasting joy and strength of character as my main reference point in life. More than this, I always believe my grandparents’ unconditional love planted that rooted confidence so valuable in my adult life today.
My husband and I are lucky that both my in-laws and my dad have always been constant fixtures in our kids’ lives. I remember when both Meagan and Marcus were toddlers, my father-in-law would call the house everyday for a few minutes just to hear their voices. My mother-in-law would fly to Manila to stay with the kids when my husband and I were away on trips at the same time. She also loves to surprise the kids with simple things or memorabilia she has kept. I remember she had this red Hello Kitty band-aid kit she said she kept for years and wanted Meagan to have it. My dad would be there for a lot of my kids’ activities since pre-nursery.
On top of this, we love telling our kids stories of our parents’ history. We also tell them to find ways to show their gratitude to everything their grandparents have taught and provided us. When we go on family trips, Meagan assigns herself to assist Angkong (grandfather in Fukien) and Marcus is assigned to assist Amah (grandmother in Fukien). With their Kong Kong (it’s how they call my dad), both of them are his assistants. Vinson’s parents and my dad also love asking them about their school lives, grades, friends, etc. My father-in-law would at times pick up Meagan at school and treat her to her favorite CPK cheese pizza. And of course, they look forward to their “tiered” gifts depending if they get gold, silver or bronze in their quarterly awards.
Below are some of the “enduring teachables” I would hope my kids learn from their grandparents:
GRATITUDE. I can never forget my father-in-law’s question on what’s the difference between a janitor and ourselves—that in a split second, you can be born into a totally different life. Thus, we should be thankful and make the most of the lives given to us. My father-in-law lost his parents when he was only 17 years old.
FAMILY COMES FIRST. In big and small ways, my dad and my in-laws show us how everything is peripheral to family. My husband and his brothers always appreciated how their parents, despite both working, were there when they got home from school. When their mom was invited to join social organizations, their mom politely said no. It was only when they were grown that their mom busied herself with Church organizations.
BUSINESS ACUMEN. I asked Marcus once what he would like to be when he grows up. His simple answer was…to be like Kong Kong. I asked why. He said because he’s good in business. When given a chance, my husband and I share our parents’ business struggles and triumphs to our kids.
TRUE FAITH. My dad and my mother-in-law are both very devout Catholics. Today, I even share my mother-in-law’s devotion to Our Lady of Peñafrancia and Our Lady of Mount Carmel. But more than this, I admire how they put their faith in action. My dad has always been a proponent of Catholic education. Joan, my youngest sister’s recent social post, explains this quite well:
“Double celebration yesterday: [It’s] Mama Mary’s birthday and the blessing of the building Dad built for the schoolchildren of the Istituto Maria Immacolata in Amadeo, Cavite. Dad believes that faith and a good education are priceless opportunities that these children should be given to have a fighting chance to give back to the community with compassion, smarts and genuine intentions of wanting everyone to succeed in life no matter what cards they were dealt with.
“The school and the girls orphanage are run by the sisters. My dad is really simple when it comes to everything in his life and only requested to have a blessing with just the sisters and our family, so we were really surprised that they had an entire program prepared for him! Even with something as significant and meaningful, he isn’t showy or flashy. In fact, prior to this he already helped renovate part of the orphanage and never even told us. [We would’ve never known] had the sisters not mentioned it when they were taking us around for the tour. He was looking for a place for kids he could help out that wasn’t big and really needed the help. He was explaining to us that although there are a lot of charitable organizations everywhere already, they are already being supported by the big whales and the biggest companies. He wanted to find a simple organization that fell through the cracks and wasn’t on the spotlight. He visited the place, met with the sisters to understand how the school and orphanage were being run. He felt confident that they were so dedicated and really capable to run it well; they just needed a bit of help. Imagine, at his age, leading this project on his own [or course with his assistants and our trusted construction manager], he didn’t even tell me or Maye anything! I really admire my dad for always reminding us to be helpful for the right reasons and not for public glory. This one is hard to live up to!”
All in all, I hope my kids can live by the legacies our parents have built and continue to build. Happy Grandparents Month.