IN line with the theme of Kids’ Month, I got into thinking how our kids can just blurt out of the blue such “wise” things. It’s funny when I ask my kids to stay a bit longer at the dinner table, they’ll always say, “OK, Mom, let’s talk about life.”
I’ve always loved learning from kids. I love asking them questions. I love being fascinated by their views on simple concepts. I’m aware that adults might be smarter in content, but we can’t ever claim to always be wiser. Below are some words and stories of wisdom from my 8-year-old son, Marcus:
- We were at the grocery aisle one Sunday afternoon, and Marcus suddenly asks me, “Mom, what would you choose—time or money?” I said in reply, “What would you choose?” He said, “Time, because with time, you could make money, but money cannot make time.”
- Marcus got his first gold merit award last school year. My sister promised him a gift. Lunch took longer than usual that day, so I just told my sister to give Marcus the money. The toy he wanted was P1,095. Joan, my sister, gave him P1,100. We were about to take a photo of the moment but Marcus was rummaging through his wallet. I asked what he was doing and he said he was looking for P5 to give my sister her change. When we were in the car, I wanted to process the experience. I told him it was a good thing he knew how to give back the change. I also asked him why he did it. He said, “Chichi (that’s how she calls Joan) worked hard for the P5. Even if it was P1, I need to return it to her.”
- One time when we were watching the latest Spider-Man movie at home, Ironman appeared. He asked me, “Mom, would you prefer brawns or brains?” I asked him for his answer. He said, “60 percent brains and 40 percent brawns because you can build up more brawns with more brains.”
- “If you cheat, you’re not really a winner because cheaters are still losers inside. Achi (her big sister, Meagan) taught me that.”
- Recently, when a kid in class was punished, that kid was asked to stand at the back of the class. The teacher asked the whole class who was the kid’s friend, and who would like to take his place. No one wanted to stand up, but Marcus did. He said he stood up because that’s the truth. He didn’t mind to take the kid’s place. Later on, all their classmates also stood up.
- Last week I was watching Suits, a weekly TV show about lawyers. Marcus asked me what do lawyers do. I said lawyers defend people. He said, “ I did that, Mom.” He saw a boy classmate crying outside the classroom. He found out that their boy marshal took his classmate’s cup because he was playing with it. He told the boy marshal he couldn’t do that, so the boy marshal gave it back. Marcus, being an officer of the class, met with his fellow officers and made a rule that only the president can do this. All the other officers agreed with him.
My friends ask me where Marcus gets this. I think by nature, he’s a boy with a lot of heart. I also believe a big part is what he “breathes” around him. People around him have imparted kind words and gestures all his life. And at times when actions are questionable, my husband and I have always provided an arena for discussion. For me, being “smart” is secondary to having a good character. I recently looked through my journal in 2000. At that time, I was not even married yet. I found a list. It reads:
FOR MY CHILDREN
- Love your parents.
- Love people even if it hurts.
- Never count.
- Never forget what you want. Work hard.
- Aim for the stars and hit the moon.
- You are special.
- Be humble.
- Learn philosophy early on.
- Be staunch in your beliefs.
- Try only things you’d learn from.
People who have influenced my life the most include my paternal grandfather, my grand aunt and my nanny. I’ve grown up with their countless stories about “life” and happiness. I’ve been a recipient of their countless sacrifices. They pushed me to study my hardest but they also pushed me to be the “best” person I could be.
I believe each parent must choose their legacy to pass on to their children. For me, I hope I can pass a “Legacy of Wisdom”. It’s a legacy of values that transcend the “happiness” that I was taught to pursue. It’s “happiness” that includes love for people, love for work and love for learning.
In our weekly alone times with each of my children, I tell them a lot of stories about my childhood. I tell them how my grandfather would reward me with a delicious hamburger at the end of a working day when I was four. I tell them how I saw my grand aunt genuinely care for my great grandmother, and how she taught me every night even if she worked full time. I also relay to them how even nonfamily members, like my nanny, can truly have our back. I told them my nanny was the one who taught me to defend myself when I was made fun of in school.
Last, we’re lucky to have family and very dear friends who are great mentors and “storytellers” as well. Even if these were adult gatherings, I would always bring my kids for a bit of “osmosis”. It’s different to hear stories firsthand from wise people. I loved hearing it then, and I still love learning from them today.
Try to gather your kids’ “Words of Kidsdom” today.