Several scientific studies on fatherhood reveal that fathers are important for a child’s development. Children with involved fathers are less likely to break the law and drop out of school. Guided by a close relationship with their dads, these kids disproportionately grow up to avoid risky sex, pursue healthy relationships and hold down high-paying jobs.
When fathers are actively involved with their children, they do better. Children are more likely to have higher IQ scores than their peers at the age of three. This is according to Paul Amato, a sociologist who studies parent-child relationships at Pennsylvania State University.
In the longer term, with the father around, children suffer from fewer psychological problems and may be less prone to obesity–call it “The Father Effect”, the umbrella term for the benefits of a paternal presence. These effects can be numerous when fathers actively participate in family life.
“There needs to be a minimum amount of time spent together, but the quality of time is more important than the quantity of time. Just watching television together, for example, isn’t going to help much,” the sociologist stressed out.
That’s why the emerging consensus on the importance of fathers in the every stage of a child’s development is worth the monitoring. Their findings support a conclusion that might change how we parent our children.
More than just sperm donors
There is, perhaps, no greater and more universal Father Effect than genetic information.
While we tend to blame mothers for ruining the genetic information in their eggs with drugs and alcohol, we have few knowledge of how fathers’ vices might impact their sperm. We now know that the decisions a man makes before conception can have lifelong impacts on his kids. Studies suggest that men who drink before conception are more likely to have sons who abuse alcohol, and that poor dietary choices in men can lead to negative pregnancy outcomes. At least one study suggests that men who are stressed before conception may predispose of their offspring to high blood sugar.
“We know the nutritional, hormonal and psychological environment provided by the mother permanently alters organ structure, cellular response and gene expression in her offspring,” said Joanna Kitlinska of Georgetown University, who ran a study on the subject in 2016. “But our study shows the same thing to be true with fathers—his lifestyle and how old he is can be reflected in molecules that control gene function.”
The earlier a dad gets involved, the better
In a 1997 book on the subject, researchers argued that fathers who are actively involved in labor are effectively developing relationships (albeit one-way relationship) with their children as early as possible, and subsequent studies suggest that this leads to stronger early attachment to the baby.
In a 2011 literature review on paternal involvement during pregnancy and labor, the authors claim that the preponderance of evidence suggests that dads who are actively involved and invested in the baby before he or she is born disproportionately remain involved in the child’s life. And, as numerous studies have shown, more paternal involvement means better outcomes for kids.
That’s why, nowadays, dads no longer exist just to teach their toddlers to walk and play catch, but they are encouraged to take part in parent groups, to participate during labor or to care for their infants.
Talk about engaged fathers
Dads who live with their kids and take time out of their days to attend important events are far more likely to have a positive impact than those of absent fathers.
For dads who live apart from their kids, there are limited options for engaging fatherly interactions. “Writing letters, phone calls—even if you’re not in physical proximity–and knowing your dad cares and wants to be involved to the extent that they can is really important,” Marcy Carlson, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin. If you can’t even do that, buying love isn’t the worst idea. “There’s tons of evidence that financial support of kids is good for their outcomes,” she said. “If dads can provide for their children, that goes a long way.”
Most studies suggest that, until children hit puberty, the Father Effect is roughly equal for boys and girls. Both boys and girls who are fortunate enough to have dads in their lives excel and, in some cases, outperform their peers. But when raging hormones kick in, studies demonstrate that dads suddenly become the arbiters of sexual behavior, too. And that is most acutely felt by teenage daughters who a take fewer sexual risks if they have strong relationship with their dads.
“Numerous past studies find a link between low-quality fathering and daughters’ sexual outcomes, including early and risky sexual behavior,” said Danielle del Priore, who has studied how dads impact risky sex. “A father who is cold or disengaged may change daughters’ social environments and sexual psychology in ways that promote unrestricted sexual behavior.”
Del Priore suggests that daughters might learn from disengaged fathers that they shouldn’t expect men to invest meaningfully in long-term relationships, and so they settle for riskier casual flings. It’s also possible that “daughters with disengaged fathers receive less parental monitoring and are more likely to affiliate with sexually promiscuous friends,” she added. “On the other hand, having a father who is warm and engaged can protect against these outcomes.”
Del Priore defined “engaged fathers” as those who warmly behave and meaningfully interact with their kids. They’re the sort of dads who help with homework and attend sporting events, seldom insulting their children or behaving coldly. “When it comes to daughters, taking the time to listen to them, learn about their lives, show up for important events and provide emotional support could protect [them] against early and unrestricted sexual behavior,” she said. “Dads do not have to be perfect, and making a genuine effort to be there for their daughters could make a big difference.”
Dads do matter. They need to realize that their kids are always watching and that what they do matter. How well a dad parents influence a child’s psychological, cognitive and social development, and strongly steers him or her toward adulthood and even beyond. My favorite story would be that of a loving and compassionate father recorded in the Gospel of Luke.
“But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and, in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this, my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.” (Luke 15:20-24).