MORE than 2 million marriages take place each year in the US and, increasingly, they are uniting people of different races and ethnicities. Today, according to the Pew Research Center, 1 in 6 newlyweds in the US is involved in a mixed marriage.
That is a fivefold increase from 1967, when the Supreme Court issued a landmark ruling in Loving v. Virginia, the decision that made interracial marriage legal across the nation. Last month, to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Loving decision, The New York Times asked readers the question: Has being in an interracial relationship united or divided your family?
Nearly 200 people—not only couples, but children of intermarried parents—responded. In those responses, several themes emerged.
Mixed marriage in 2017 goes far beyond black and white, and might more aptly be called multicultural marriage. Children also tend to unite families; many couples wrote in to say that once they became parents, relations with their own parents improved. One interracial marriage tends to beget another; the children of intermarried couples tend to intermarry, if our readers are any guide.
We heard tales of hope and disappointment, fear and hurt feelings, struggles for acceptance, but most of all, love.
Here, in their own words, are a few of our readers’ stories, edited and condensed for clarity:
Robin Ligon-Eaton, 51, and Maynard Eaton, 67
Where they met: At an arts center in Atlanta.
Married in June
Robin: My blonde, blue-eyed father had an interracial relationship with the African-American dancer and singer Josephine Baker when he lived in Europe in the 1950s. Ironically, even though this was a well-known legend in my family, when I decided to wed a biracial (Native American and black) jazz musician in the 1990s, my father had an issue with it. When I told him that “the apple does not fall far from the tree,” he stated that he was a man, which made the difference.
My daughter, Colette, was born in 1993 and was estranged from the funeral of my father in 1994, which was a terrible and regrettable irony. I never thought and still don’t think about age or race when I am in social or personal circles. Last week my new husband and I joyously tied the knot in New Orleans with a traditional Jazz second-line parade.
We live in Atlanta, which is racially polarized and very difficult to navigate personally and professionally. For such an international city, with a storied history and present steeped in civil rights, do we not also have the right to love one another without reservation or fear of contempt from persons on both sides of the fence?
It takes a very strong resolve to stand these daily tests, but we are willing to stand firm. As writers and artists, our broad and diverse worldviews are a blessing. The combined ancestry of French, African, Miami and Cherokee Indian in our union is and will always be embraced and celebrated. Love, as in the story of the Lovings, is all about the heart and not about the color of the skin.
Myra Clark-Foster, 65, and Howard Andrew Foster, 66
Where they met: High school study hall.
Married in August 2015
Myra: Howard Andrew Foster and I began dating during the racially turbulent 1960s. After graduation in 1969 from West High School in Columbus, Ohio, Andrew, as his family calls him, attended what is now called Columbus State Community College. I attended Ohio State University.
Andrew asked to meet me in front of the OSU Student Union. He told me that he didn’t think we should see each other because society wasn’t going to let us be happy. He said he just wanted me to be happy. I said nothing. We embraced one last time, turned and walked away. About a block away, we both turned around and waved. I think we were saying, “See you later.”
During my career with Mount Carmel Hospice, I met a nurse whose daughter was married to Andrew’s son. A lot transpired in the next two years. Andrew had a near-death health crisis in January 2011, and woke up on his 61st birthday with a colostomy. In the months ahead he endured several surgeries; the colostomy was eventually reversed and he is healthy today.
We finally reconnected on Labor Day weekend 2013, and married Aug. 1, 2015. Our families were intricately involved. My nephew married us, my sister-in-law was my matron of honor, Andrew’s father was his best man. My brother walked me to the altar and also prayed an original prayer that he wrote. Another nephew and his wife, Sarah, provided music. Yet another nephew, Cameron, was the DJ along with his father, Al. I walked to Sarah singing ‘’Unchained Melody.’’
So 45 years later we are married and happy. Together at last.