February has always been a special month for me, and this year is no different. It has Valentine’s Day, Chinese New Year, and to top it off, it is my birth month.
People have always made my birthday special, from my husband to my kids, my friends and especially the people I work with. Every year they would surprise me with something new.
February is also the month that reminds me a lot of the color red. Since I was young, red has been my favorite color. I guess I gravitate toward what red represents for me…intensity and passion.
Passion for me is that zone of toil, where you are deaf to the world. It goes beyond the need to achieve or prove, but simply appreciating the gift “to be”.
I was once told that I was lucky to have passions because not everyone does. It made me more conscious to relish the gift and to hope that people I love also find theirs.
Also, I believe having passion or no passion is a matter of choice and not destiny.
How? It starts with the will to unearth that feeling of happiness or fear at the pit of our gut. It is a decision to immerse and commit time to discover that feeling, that skill, that hobby or that relationship. It is the humility to hone from small steps and make mistakes. It is doing it over and over again for self-contentment beyond external rewards. And eventually, your newfound boldness or even destiny will pave the way for you to share it and transcend it.
Finding passion is also not this onetime jackpot prize. George Yang, a very successful businessman, later on pursued his passion for music. Cory Aquino showed passion for her country and her family and, later on, in her own works of art.
In the past, I always felt that need to choose between passion and practicality. Subliminally, practicality equates to what other people need us to be, and whether we like to admit it or not, this relates to financial success.
I’m lucky to be surrounded by good friends who live their lives of passions and have been more than supportive of me to do the same.
A college friend, Robert, could have done finance work with the grades he had, but he pursued his passion for teaching. Today, he runs a successful tutoring center business and is married to an equally passionate educator, Tina. A huge inspiration for me is my friend Paolo who recently pursued his passion for a construction business that is artful and quality-differentiated. He has inspired me to pursue my passion in early child development.
My passion has always been with kids and the arts. I’ve had a love for collecting since I was young. My favorite back then was my He-Man toys. Today, I collect toy cars and love going to car shows.
If I were not in business, I would have pursued a career in teaching and painting. Do I have regrets today? Do I feel that I was pushed into the life I have today? In all honesty, no. Why? First, I believe in providence. I know the decisions that were made for me and, later on, those that I made for myself were part of a bigger plan. Second, I always carried my passions with me. I married my passions with the cards I was dealt with. And because of this, I believe I’m able to live through life with more peace, gratitude and generosity.
As a parent, I hope for my kids to find their “productive passions” in life. I hope their passions enable them to be self-sufficient and be good contributors to society. What are some of the things that I do to pave passion for my kids?
Exposure. I expose them to various places, experiences and things.
Then I observe their “zones.” I see how focused they are. This can be during play, schoolwork, or even a task you let them do in the house.
Trial without consequence. When I observe that my kids are drawn to certain tasks, I allow them to do this with freedom. I don’t correct them while they are doing the task. I would give good examples during another conversation.
I also surround them with a lot of peripheral things, like books and other media that support this current interest.
No definite lines. Since my son was 1, he loved to doodle and write, so I exposed him to such tools as egg crayons, markers and pencils.
Today, writing is his personal zone. What will come out of it? I don’t really know, but I have and I am laying out the possibilities. I tell him, “Maybe you can do your own comic books someday, or maybe create your own markers in the future.”
Connect and deepen. Try to connect their passions to something practical. This is just the “maximizer” in me. My son has always been into collecting things. When he was into Animal Kaiser cards, I added a bit of math. He learned to add in thousands through this. Today, he loves Yokai Watch Medals. I noticed that he keeps on doing his own version of Yokai videos in Japanese. I asked him if he wanted to learn Japanese, and I was surprised when he said yes. More than this, since he has duplicates of the medals, I suggested if he wanted to sell these. He started to rewrap his medals like new ones and sold them to his classmates.
Last but not least, live it. My kids see our passions at work as much as they do our passion in our hobbies. Even our own parenting reflects passion. And even if in the process we get judged for ostensibly overdoing it, or not doing enough, or how our kids turn out to be at certain points in their young life, I choose to focus in the process and treat the results as work in progress.
Why do I devote a lot of effort in helping my kids find passion? Because I believe “Red is More”. Passion is better. It is true that many people can be successful even without passions. It is also true that passions may bring in more pressure to succeed. But for me, the “zone” gives me meaning, and being “red” gives me joy.
E-mail me at mommynolimits@gmail.com.