‘Rebound sex’ after breakups a bad choice


THERE’S no denying a breakup is definitely one of the hardest things to go through in life. Heartbreak is a universal language each and every one of us learned or will eventually learn to address at some point in our lives.

The real question remains: How exactly do I get over a previous lover?

Many would agree to disagree over the fact that the only way to maneuver through the pain and alleviate the heartache is to rip a page out of the heartbreak book and move to the next one. However, “rebound sex” is really one of the lesser options one should take.

Although good in theory, dropping the relationship like nothing happened and diving into bed immediately with someone new don’t apply well in reality, especially when done in purpose and in broad daylight. Rebound sex isn’t exactly the route to take when putting back the pieces of your broken heart.

Unfortunately, the 21st century way of thinking has led some of us to live in an era of instant gratification.

We’re often persuaded by social standards and beliefs that we shouldn’t wear our hearts on our sleeves. Instead we live by the mantra “Don’t let ‘em see you sweat.”

Maybe it’s the reason we immediately slip under a blanket with someone else, searching for the quickest solution to get us over the person we’re really missing. Striking while the iron is hot isn’t exactly going to create a lasting flame.

I read somewhere that most people who engage in rebound or revenge sex struggle with feelings of loneliness and the fear of being unwanted. Hey, aren’t we all a little scared of being lonely at one point or another? I am.

But I believe it’s okay to be by yourself, especially after a breakup. It gives you time to establish an unbreakable bond with the most important person in your life: y-o-u.

Breakup wounds take time to heal. So if you haven’t made peace with the ending of a prior relationship, in all honesty, you shouldn’t allow your sexual desires to be fulfilled by someone who serves as a temporary banana.

Settling for something to fill the emotional void is good for the moment. But once that moment expires, then what?

In the end, something you thought would ease the pain tends to bring more stress and heartache along the way.

I also read somewhere that 20 percent to 30 percent of people engage in rebound sex after a month of having separated split from a previous relationship. The percentage of individuals increases whenever someone is in pain and they end up rushing into another relationship.

There are several ways to getting over a breakup, immediately hooking up with someone isn’t one of them. Curl up in bed and cry, talk to friends and watch movies with them. There’s always the healthy alternative to help get your mind right, like exercising or trying new activities. Take it from me: these are what I did.

We’re allowed to be sad, angry and hurt from any breakup. But we should not allow these feelings to lead us far from sound judgment. We must take as much time as needed to work through the emotional cycle.

I try to be patient with myself. I also don’t allow anyone to tell me differently or persuade me to rush into something I know my body and soul just aren’t ready for.

Rediscovering happiness, a sense of closure and peace of mind from the breakup can only be achieved from within, not in someone else’s pants.


Joshua Cyril Constante Razon is a 19-year-old student who loves everything about arts and writes about “things that makes me strong and vulnerable at the same time.”

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