It’s the start of the school year. Are your kids excited to go back to school, or being back in school? Do you enjoy the back-to-school preparations?
When Meagan was in her toddler years, she had extreme and prolonged separation anxiety. She would cry at the top of her lungs when I would bring her to school. While this was probably expected for the first few days of school, Meagan’s case lasted until almost the end of the first quarter. The school accommodated for either the nanny or I to sit in the class. We started to sit beside her initially just to calm her, then later on we sat at the back of the class.
In each succeeding year, I would try different ways to ease both Meagan and Marcus through the first days of school. Out of all the efforts, I found two things most effective. The first is “preparatory conversations”. I would start this a week before the opening of school, telling them what to expect in the next few days—there would be a teacher to sing songs with, a lot of books and art materials and so on. The second is “prerelaxation”. Since school time would be at 8 am then, they were ready by at least 7 am. This allowed them to calmly have breakfast, and also allowed time for activities that I knew would relax them. Usually, these would be coloring and drawing or building blocks. Then, we would be at their school at 10 minutes before classes start, giving them some play or reading time before the day of learning started. Another thing I discovered: it would be a big positive to have the preschool near your place, as this makes transition from home to school short and smooth.
Now that both of my kids are in the big school, preparing for back-to-school has become a lot easier and quite fun. Below are the things I do with my kids to kickstart their school year:
Build fun rituals. Our favorite ritual is going to National Book Store to buy our school supplies. Each one has their list. Meagan would get her own cart while I would assist Marcus. I would involve them in choosing the folders, rulers, etc., that they like. I remember when I was a child, my favorite ritual was picking the brand of pens I would use for that year. Would it be Panda or Kilometrico? Even though it takes more time, I like to see the fun in their eyes, like when they find their “perfect pen”.
The room to choose. I always believe it’s the child’s choice to excel in school. We lead them to it, yes, but it’s always better when the child wants it. For me, I was rewarded when I did well but I was never punished if I got a failing mark.
So, I have a “soft” talk with my kids a few weeks before school starts. I ask them how they felt about last year. Did they like their grades? Did they like the activities they joined? If they say yes, then I would simply ask: “Do you think there’s room to improve? Do you want mom to suggest ways?”
I remember when Marcus was in kindergarten, he would get above-average grades but was not consistently in the honor roll. I didn’t mind because what I really wanted for him was to love going to school. I also believe every child is different. As much as Meagan values being in the honor roll, Marcus might enjoy school in another way. Nevertheless, I wanted to make sure he was “aware” of his options when he entered first grade. So, one time I sat him down and drew out the letters A, B and C. I asked him, “Marcus, when you grow up, what kind of job would you like? An A, B or C job?” He asked me what’s the difference. I explained that an A job means most of the time, you are telling people what to do. Then, a B means sometimes you are telling people what to do, and other times people are telling you what to do. Meanwhile, a C means you are always being told what to do. He said, “I want an A job.” I told him then he’d need to go to a good university for that, and in order to be accepted in one, he’d need to get very good grades in grade school and high school. He was silent after our chat, and I left it at that.
I was surprised that he became more serious with his studies on his own. He started getting silver awards in the beginning of the year and ended up getting a gold award by the end of the fourth quarter.
The unconditional love of the journey. I’m not in my children’s school very often but the first day of school is a must. I like experiencing their first-day excitement with them. I like seeing them pick a seat. I like saying hello to their new teacher. I also bring siblings when the schedule allows. More than this, I like hugging and kissing them before they start a school year and telling them, “enjoy school”. It’s my way of making them feel the unconditional love of the journey. I always believe that a good start leads to better results. More than this, the journey becomes more meaningful for your child because they were a part of the process from the onset.
Next week I will share my views on a very interesting book, titled Top of the Class: How Asian Parents Raise High Achievers—and How You Can Too, by Dr. Soo Kim Abboud and Jane Kim. This book has taught me to continue forming fun rituals with my kids during the school year.