WE all cheer “Happy holidays!” during the Christmas season. After all, this is a time to enjoy all sorts of festivities with friends and family.
However, not all Christmases past were happy for me. There was a year where I found out my favorite grand aunt had cancer and needed to get cobalt treatment in Hong Kong. There were several years I had my heart broken and just wanted to hide from the world. There was a year I had to face some major family problem and accept the harsher realities of life.
So through the years, whenever Christmas comes around, I’m more conscious of my surroundings. I know that as much as this is a happy season in general, it can also be a time of sadness for not a few people. If you’re without a job during the holidays, away from family, experiencing financial problems, facing serious or terminal illness, or undergoing any difficult situation, Christmas can easily become a source of pressure and fear. I try my best to be there for people around me. Knowing I can’t solve whatever their problems, I know from experience that during these times, having good people around makes one see that window of hope and joy.
I’m always hopeful that being there for people may facilitate a deep sense of gratitude, no matter how hard it is to find in such a difficult time. In my not-so-happy Christmases, I realized many important things:
Not everything is in our hands. Things happen. Life is not always in our control.
Happiness is your choice. No person, thing or circumstance can choose happiness for you. It is your choice to consciously and actively seek happiness in your life.
It’s not wrong to wish. When we face disappointments, we tend to say, “Never mind. It’s not in the stars for me.” For me, there’s nothing wrong in having steadfast wishes. Since I was a child, I dreamt of a peaceful family. It’s only after thirtysomething years that I’m achieving this. Wishes make us humble. It leads us to prayer.
Faith and work lead the way. With our lifelong wishes comes the firm belief and commitment to work hard in achieving these. Win or lose, our faith guides us to our rightful path.
Not all Christmases are happy. In all my sad Christmases, I never escaped the sadness. I embraced it and cried my hardest. I could only hope that next Christmas would be better. And in the year that followed, I challenged myself to grab happiness. I pushed myself to learn from the past and do things differently. Some years it works and other, not. No biggie. I enjoyed the journey.
And so especially during Christmas, I see the importance of darkness. Without darkness, I wouldn’t know how to define and experience “light”. Without those moments of curling up and feeling that deepest pain in your heart, I wouldn’t appreciate my “happy holidays” as much as I do today.
I got my first BMX bike from my grand aunt in Christmas. I spent many good family vacations in Christmas. More important, I got married to my “The Rock” husband in Christmas. This year I started to do my Holiday Thank-You List. It’s not hard. I scroll through the photo album in my phone, and my posts on Facebook, my blog and Instagram, and I quickly realize that counting life’s blessings exceeds the number of fingers I have.
Is there a sad Christmas? Yes. We all have experienced one or two of them at different points in our lives. Not all of our holidays are happy. Some years are; other years are not. If this year has caught you in a slump, squeeze out the good stuff, no matter how hard it is. Next year, when all the clouds have cleared, gratitude sinks in deeper. Trust me, you will cherish the light more.
Happy Holidays, everyone! And a Happy 12th Anniversary, Vink!