Roman philosopher Seneca once said, “A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not”.
Thought is a powerful tool that dictates how we can live our lives by either happily appreciating what we have or feeling stressed out wanting what we don’t have. No one else controls our thoughts except ourselves. Clearly, the way we think reflects the way we feel, and the way we feel leads to the way we conduct ourselves.
When I first read the poem Invictus, the last few lines left me with the indelible imprint about self-control. Written by William Ernest Henley, the poem emphatically tells the reader that he alone controls his fate. Further, the poem tells us that, regardless of our spirituality, trials and darkest moments in life can be conquered by never losing faith in the strength of one’s soul. Hence, the poem is appropriately titled “Invictus,” which means unconquerable in Latin.
Ruel has been behind the wheel for me for the past eight years. In recent years, he and his family have been contending with various health issues. For instance, a few months ago, Ruel experienced a hypertensive attack while driving, which caused him to be rushed to the emergency room. He still suffers from occasional dizziness and now takes regular medication. His son gets admitted to the intensive care unit from time to time due to some seizures caused by cerebral palsy. His wife, who refuses to undergo chemotherapy, is a breast cancer survivor. Courageously, Ruel embraces such reality of health issues with accompanying medical bills and uses humor to supply energy to his weakening soul. Though at times I sense his sadness, Ruel remains unconquerable as he finds ways to earn extra income by planting pineapple, ginger and chili pepper, and by raising hogs and other farm animals. Everyone who knows Ruel would attest to his attitude as one happy camper, especially when he’s in the farm!
Ghanaian inspirational writer Lailah Gifty Akita said, “In all circumstances, we must let God be in control. He is able to guide us in the best pathways.”
No matter how hard we try, no matter how good we are, things will never go our way all the time. But the fact that we do not control how events will turn out does not imply that we should just sit and wait.
In the Bible, Galatians 22-23 tells us, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control; against such things there is no law.” We need to make full use of one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, which is self-control. For believers who are aided by the Holy Spirit that dwells in them, they are equipped with the knowledge to wisely embrace situations, just like Ruel’s, with much contentment and confidence. Believers need self-control because the outside world is full of temptations and distractions that can deprive them of genuine happiness. And, as it is written in the Holy Book, 1 Peter 5-7 tells us, “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.” By faith, we yearn to know more about Him. And by doing so, eventually, we gain greater self-control. We can then decide with greater conviction. We can accept unhappy circumstances with less sadness. With self-control, we can choose to believe that there is something positive in every adversity. In Ruel’s case, he tries to uncover God’s hidden blessings in every “unfortunate” event.
The poem Invictus ends with, “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” With the gift of self-control, we freely choose whether we happily embrace what life has to offer or stubbornly refuse to accept the good with the bad. Relatively, one of the greatest gift God has given mankind is free will. We have the power of choice in every decision that we make which ultimately leads to who we are and who we can be.
Seneca added, “The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach.” Ruel is happily pursuing these blessings while embracing all the challenges that go with his pursuit. I admire his tenacity as I, too, pursue the blessings within my reach. It has not been easy, but with the fruits of the Spirit cultivated within me, I have learned to happily embrace everything that has happened in my life. Thank you Ruel for showing me one of life’s greatest blessings—amor fati.
For questions and comments, please e-mail me at sbmison@gmail.com.