“Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.” Many would lament that overused phrase, but in my mind, I keep thinking, “Mabuti pa nga kayo eh!”
After all, the chances of me winning the grand lotto are greater than me becoming a bride. Or being a bridesmaid for that matter. Kaya choosy pa kayo maging bridesmaid?!
But at the recent beach wedding of Maxene Magalona and Robby Mananquil, I might as well have been one. After all, I’m close to the Magalonas, and I literally saw Maxene blossom.
One of the duties of a bridesmaid is giving a toast during the wedding. Maxene’s actual bridesmaid was her younger sister, Saab. Unfortunately, since Saab is in the third trimester of her pregnancy, she couldn’t make it to Boracay and gave a prerecorded speech, instead. It was profound, emotional and very touching. It truly made me cry. After messing my handkerchief from all the bawling I did, I realized that could’ve been my chance to be a bridesmaid. As I said, I’m close to Maxene and I can pass as a bride (Chucky’s) and a maid (literally).
So, without further ado, here’s my toast for Maxene:
“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I would like to start off by saying how honored I am that Maxene asked me to give her a toast on one of the most important days of her life. For those of you who don’t know me, I am Jet, Maxene’s more beautiful and gorgeous friend.
“Now, I am in no way used to public speaking, though friends will always tell me I talk and talk and talk, but, really, I’m more of a behind-the-scenes person. I really get nervous when talking in public, so my friend told me that the best thing to do, so the experience won’t be so intimidating, is to imagine you’re all naked. So here I am looking around the room, and I’d rather skip on the family members of the Magalonas and the Mananquils because I respect them all. What I don’t mind imagining naked are the other guests like Gary V., Ira Cruz, Brent Javier, Jay-R, Mikael Daez…. They all look so hot! There are some bruhas I’m imagining naked and I hate them because still look gorgeous, such as Megan and Lauren Young, Mica Javier, Janella Salvador, Julia Montes and many more, which intimidates me even more. But OK, it is working because I’m imagining the other people here naked, especially the old and fat ones, and I’m laughing inside. Charot.
“Maxene, I will spare everyone the details of a story to roast you, since it seems to be a requirement for all toasts, not because I don’t want to embarrass you in front of your family and your new family, but because I feel it would be inappropriate after the significance of what I just witnessed a while ago by the beach.
“It was a beautiful union of mind and soul, of two beautiful people destined to be each other. At the risk of sounding cliché, I can’t think of two people more suited for one another. Maxene’s outgoing and infectious personality encourages Robby to step out of his comfort zone and experience things he would have never attempted without her. Robby’s level-headed and steadfast approach to life offers structure to Maxene’s.
“Your ninong Gary V. said one of the secrets to a long marriage is to put God in the center. He is, of course, correct. But not to sound blasphemous, I would like to put in the center of my speech my forever goddess Madonna as my advice to you:
You don’t need diamond rings
Or 18 karat gold
Fancy cars that go very fast
You know they never last, no, no
What you need is a big strong hand
To lift you to your higher ground
Make you feel like a queen on a throne
Make him love you till you can’t come down
(You’ll never come down)
“Maxene, I’m very happy you found the man who would love you till you can’t come down, and you’ll never come down. Robby, you’re so lucky to have this beautiful woman as your lifetime companion. Separately, you both are very special and awesome and impactful people. Together, you are complete.
“I would like to end this toast by recognizing some of the ‘firsts’ I have witnessed at this wedding, such as a guitar as the guest book to signify Robby’s love for music; and tables labeled as the things special to the couple, instead of the usual number; and the wedding march of Maxene, her father’s song ‘Girl Be Mine,’ as a tribute to Francis M. So I hope there will be another first that will happen: That instead of the bridesmaid giving a gift, it would be the bride who will give me a gift, particularly that black Balenciaga Velo bag I’m lusting after. Pwede ba?
“Seriously, I would like you all to please raise your glass and join me in a toast. To love and light, to Maxene and Robby!”
Postscript: No matter how many times I have revised and revised and revised this speech, this still sucks compared to Saab’s.
Image credits: Maxene Magalona Facebook Account