AS with any other office, conflict is inevitable because people have different personalities and ways of working. Naturally, people gravitate to people who are similar to them and shun those who are different. In the workplace, people are also driven by different motivations and those who get in their way can trigger them to react negatively. These are growing pains and expected especially when the team is new, or in the process of adapting to changes in the organization. Conflicts are indicators of where you can help to ensure the team works smoothly together.
There are ways you can reduce conflict so it does not become a full-blown altercation. You can do this by being sensitive to disagreements within your team and keeping your ear to the ground for any possible trouble. An effective way of doing this is getting to know your team well by setting regular coaching sessions with them and understanding their motivations. As soon as you think that a conflict might happen between two parties, step in and take steps so it does not escalate into something more serious. But if it does, the following tips can help you manage it to a full resolution.
Talk with both parties involved in the conflict. Your role is to identify what caused the conflict and not who caused it. Talk to them separately so you can learn as much as you can about the incident. Make sure you talk to them privately where they feel safe, and they can express themselves in confidence. This will make them become more candid about what happened, and they will have the space to regulate their emotions. Talking to them in private will also keep them away from the rest of the team who might be curious as to what happened. Make sure you get both sides to the incident and ask as many details as needed to identify the root cause of the conflict.
Actively listen and try to identify why they are reacting the way they do. Sometimes, the source of the conflict is not work-related but a clash of personalities. Try looking at the situation from different perspectives so you can have a better understanding of what caused the conflict. When listening, you need to carefully observe their choice of words, reactions, and how they perceive the person they are in conflict with because what they think about a person shows in their words and actions. You also need to learn the art of listening between the lines and understand what is not being said. It takes good questioning skills and knowing how to read people to discover what people are actually saying.
Similarly, be careful with your own choice of words because you might not be aware that you are imputing blame on someone through your words. You need to be as impartial as you can so that you will continue to be respected, and both parties will listen to you on how to resolve their conflict. Both parties need to know and feel that you have their best interest at heart. If they do not trust you to be impartial, they will withhold information which could be useful in resolving the conflict.
One of the ways you can become impartial is to focus on what both parties did, how they behaved, and the resulting effect on the team. As much as possible, ask questions to understand as much as you can about the incident. From the details, you can work on a set of information common to both parties. Use the common fact base as a springboard for discussing what happened and come to an agreement on how to avoid the conflict in the future. When both parties agree on what happened, it is easier for them to work on a solution both of them can also agree on.
Do not bring up unrelated past actions and failures into the discussion. If the behavioral issue is recurring and continues to be the source of conflict, you need to talk separately to the person to coach them and have concrete action plans. But if the conflict is unrelated to past actions, do not bring them up. Treat the conflict as a separate event and work on how to avoid it. Whether you like it or not, you will have biases against your team members. You need to be aware of these biases so you can take deliberate steps that will not cloud your judgment.
After understanding where each party is coming from and the root cause of the conflict, work on a resolution and how to avoid it from happening again. This can include setting a scope and limitation to one another’s work, agreeing on the rules of engagement when both parties have to work together, and to identify which behaviors are considered acceptable or inappropriate. This can help both parties on how to move forward and establish protocols when working together. You can also provide a mechanism when both parties disagree. This way, they can professionally work together with less friction.
As the people manager, consistently follow through on what has been agreed on and enforce the agreements especially when one or both parties veer away from the agreed protocols. Remind them of the agreements and if new issues arise, help them adopt a solutions-based approach to the conflict. If they manage to avoid conflict without your intervention, this indicates they have managed to find a way to work together effectively, which is the ultimate goal of working as a team.
Even if conflicts are normal, this does not mean there should always be conflict in your team. Just as much as you help them resolve their conflict, your team needs to develop their own way of resolving conflict by themselves. As your team collaborates, they will eventually find ways of working together with less friction. As a leader, you facilitate the change, but they have to want it for themselves.
Image credits: Kobu Agency on Unsplash
