You’re leaving for your family Easter lunch, trying to make sure all children are wearing shoes and socks. Then you’re hit with the dreaded question, “Is the Easter bunny real?”
For many families, Easter traditions bring a special kind of magic for both children and adults. Like Santa and the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny represents the pure innocence and fun of childhood. With a dash of imagination, and plenty of beautifully wrapped chocolate, what could go wrong?
Well, unfortunately, the truth may be what goes wrong, leading to tears for disappointed children. Thankfully, there are ways to manage this situation gracefully and even use it as a learning opportunity.
If the child is questioning and unsure: To support the child, you can relax, listen carefully and be guided by him or her. Aim to answer questions in a simple, straight-forward way. But remember, you don’t need to give the answer straight away. You might say: “Hmm, can you tell me why you think the Easter bunny might not be real?” When children learn that they are head and taken seriously, relationships strengthen.
If the child has heard other kids asking: Some kids may be asking about the Easter bunny because they’ve heard other kids asking the question, but make it clear to you in other ways they still want to believe. You might say: “Even though other kids are asking about it, it sounds like you still believe in the Easter bunny? Should we see what happens this year?”
If the child is sad about the truth: For most kids, finding out the truth is a positive experience. But some may feel really sad and upset when they find out. For these kids, it will help if their feelings are acknowledged and validated. You might say: “I know it feels so sad and disappointing to find out the Easter bunny isn’t real.”
Celebrate the moment: You can also talk about how it’s such a big important milestone for kids to be ready for the truth. You might say: “All kids hear the story about the Easter bunny, and when they figure out it’s not real, it’s a really special moment. It shows how much you’ve grown and how clever you are at working things out on your own. I think we should celebrate!”
Coming-of-age tradition: Turn the occasion into a positive coming-of-age tradition, where children learn Easter is about family togetherness and celebration. You might tell the child: “Even though there’s no actual Easter bunny, the magic of Easter is really about doing all the fun things together with our family and friends, and showing each other we love them by giving chocolate gifts.” Kids like to feel involved, so you could ask: “What would you like to keep doing each year to keep the magic of Easter alive?”
When are kids ready to hear the answer?
In advising parents and guardians, my usual rule of thumb is: If a child is asking a question, they’re ready to hear the answer. This goes for all topics, including painful or embarrassing ones. But kids communicate in a number of ways, so take your lead from the child.
Every child is different, and although all kids pass through broad developmental stages, some kids may want to hold onto beliefs about the Easter bunny and Santa for longer.
Rope in the older kids
How do you handle the situation where there are children of different ages in the family? If parents want younger children in the family to believe in the Easter bunny, it may work to “recruit” older children in on the secret.
Older kids are more likely to support the magic of the Easter bunny for their younger brothers and sisters if they feel important and are part of something special.
However, if the younger child learns from their older sibling the Easter bunny isn’t real, that’s OK too. Older siblings can help younger kids develop a range of complex cognitive skills. Watching bigger kids find out the truth about the Easter bunny may help everyone. The Conversation
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