IT has been five weeks of sharing my personal playbook for this post-pandemic back-to-school season. It started with providing context and information on the reality that we all faced and might continue to face, especially our children, in this pandemic. Then, we encouraged that path of opening up our children with all their thoughts and feelings through family communication. As our children get ready for going back to physical or hybrid school, for me one of the more important 21st-century learning skills needed is confidence, so I spent two columns on how our children can build confidence through play, sports and academics. And since academics have had different effects on our children because of prolonged distance learning, I chose to direct us to a positive solution I have discovered called S.T.E.A.M. Lastly, our tip last week recognized how collaboration with our children’s environment—like school teachers and administrators, our extended family and even the mentors and coaches of our children—provides great support not just to our children but to us, as well.
These are the ways how I continuously guided my children in their happy learning journeys, like Marcus being guided by Teacher Lois, who has been his violin teacher since he was 4, to find his voice both literally and figuratively; or how Meagan found the courage to run for class president in the second semester after just moving to a new school, and even after she lost in the first semester; or how with the collaboration with his second grade teachers in St. Jude, Marcus was able to excel academically, even if he had not been a regular honor student in the past.
I often shared my view with parents how important it is to develop our children’s love for learning; and how studying is not necessarily learning. The traditional view of studying well is getting high grades, so the skill of memorization is often honed and lauded. Developing interest, deeper inquisitiveness and having fun with the subject matter were not the priority then. I have seen how my children’s experience in school played a critical role in building their emotional well-being, so I also know how I equip my children in “how to learn” and nurture them at home is more critical in today’s learning environment.
The closure of physical schools has been admittedly challenging to my children, like losing motivation due to the online method of learning, lacking physical interaction with peers, and developing not-so-favorable habits like procrastination and increased screen time. But it also forced us to work more closely as a family to support each other. I realized from the book A Mind of Their Own: Building Your Child’s Emotional Wellbeing in a Post-Pandemic World by Katherine Hill, that there might be future challenges that would hit our family and society again, but as the book pointed out, for those with a stable family environment, this safe place helped eliminate everyday worries of children including anxiety about appearance, bullying, and their social lives during the pandemic.
Thus, I wanted the last take-home thought of this series to focus on how important it is to start and continuously build “family resilience.” For all these months of uncertainty on when regular school would actually start for my kids, it was good to have used these past two years as preparation for soft skills for my family like patience, empathy, adaptability, dealing with failure, finding your self-worth, and seeking positivity.
It is good that the book pointed out that “there are all kinds of families in all kinds of situations. There are couples who are parenting together and those who are parenting apart. There are families with single parents, adoptive parents, foster parents, step parents and grandparents. But whatever its shape or size, and whether just at the moment our children are a delight or they are breaking our hearts, the one thing that unites every family is that it provides the best place for the foundations for the life to be laid. The most important learning takes place in the home. It’s the place where we learn to relate to one another, appreciate our differences, manage conflict, and handle power; the place where we learn to forgive and be forgiven, to love and to be loved. Indeed, according to Winston Churchill: ‘There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society are created, strengthened and maintained.’”
Let me end this series with my favorite lesson from the book. As parents, even if we may not always agree with our children, sometimes even disappoint them or even have to discipline them, the most important thing is that they know we will always be there for them…and this truly paves their path toward being stronger, more emotionally-resilient people in the long run.
Happy post-pandemic back-to-school, everyone.