I FIRST heard the phrase “it’s lonely at the top” decades back when I took up a university leadership course. I learned then that many executives shared the sentiment that more than half of CEOs experience feelings of loneliness in their careers.
I started experiencing this myself when I became the CEO of an international association in the early 2000s. It kept creeping back as I took on leadership roles in various associations and membership organizations up until today.
Here are some of the situations, past and present, when I felt alone and isolated:
1. New board, new agenda, new adjustment: Changes in board composition bring about new governance dynamics and new ways of doing things. So, as CEO, I needed to adjust and cope with the change, albeit by my lonesome, being the person in between the board and the secretariat staff and members.
2. External crisis, new problem-solving: An external crisis such as an economic downturn affects the work and resources of an association. In this instance, I have to deal with the issue myself, finding solutions to mitigate its impact on the association’s continuity and sustainability.
3. New major project, added work: Embarking on a new initiative for the benefit of members usually gets broad support from everyone until implementation time when support trickles, leaving me no choice but to singularly “kickstart and keep it rolling” until support catches up on them.
4. The pandemic, new kind of stress: Work from home and virtual meetings are just a couple of disruptive effects the pandemic brought about on my wellbeing. Working long hours in different time zones, including weekends, took a toll on me, physically and mentally. Frustration on delays in work outcomes, which could have been accomplished easily in an in-person office setting, added to the stress.
I understand that, as CEO, I have no peers within the organization, hence this feeling of being alone without someone at your level to talk to. Being lonely at the top for me also means having less time to connect and relate with work colleagues, especially during the pandemic. But more isolating is the fact that most of the time, I needed to do the job myself to get things done.
So, what did I do to alleviate this feeling of isolation? For one, I built a support system of peers and friends whom I have known and worked with in the past and who serve as my sounding board as well as crutches in times of loneliness. They provide both practical and emotional support and the “go-to” group when times are tough.
The other thing I did was to keep myself visible in both traditional and social media by regularly writing and posting articles about association management and governance. This connects me with like-minded people whom I have never met before and now part of my “virtual circle” of friends who have been generous in sharing ideas and insights on topics of mutual interest.
So, while it is true that it can be lonely at the top, it is also true that you can do something about it, with a little help from your friends!
Octavio Peralta is currently the executive director of the Global Compact Network Philippines and founder and volunteer CEO of the Philippine Council of Associations and Association Executives, the “association of associations.” E-mail: bobby@pcaae.org