IN an educational institution that I’m involved with at the moment as a consultant, there is a mini disturbance that is going on in one department. It started as a tempest in a teapot but in the last few days, the tea has spilled over, turning the pettiness into a mess.
Here’s the gist of the story. A new character suddenly came into the picture, and probably to make an immediate impression, under the cover of being given carte blanche by the CEO, he has managed to ruffle feathers and step on a lot of sensitive shoes in just his first three days. Now a lot of resentful people are resigning, emptying the department of staff, and leaving the new kid in town alone to hold the reins.
He was given orders to infuse a sense of urgency into a laggard operation and improve efficiency but the brazen manner he has been doing it has been counterproductive right at the outset and the machinery is now about to bog down. My deeper analysis of this situation is that there are pain points not addressed by top management and bringing in an “enforcer” or “whip” to galvanize the staff into action is only making it worse.
Anyway, I see this someone as the type who likes to go for shock value for the sake of being noticed. It makes me wonder: was he this way also in the company where he came from?
Perhaps he has not come across the long list of idiomatic clichés that countless self-help books about corporate advancement have been saying. Get your feet wet first. See the lay of the land. Get a feel of the terrain. Lie low, watch and learn. Get to know the dynamics, find out who’s who, what’s what.
Now the current jargon is “read the room.”
It has its origin in sales and marketing. In doing a sales presentation, reading the room means being aware of opinions and attitudes, especially nonverbal cues, of the people you are talking to. It also means being sensitive to the emotions and thoughts of the people present, so you would know and determine what would be appropriate or inappropriate to say or do.
A long time ago, I was asked to be a resource speaker. Since I wasn’t accustomed to giving talks, I had to build my self-confidence first. So, before my time slot, I sneaked into a few sessions. Sitting at the back inconspicuously was for me the best vantage point to read the room. Then during breaks, I would mingle with participants and eavesdrop on their conversations. I tried to decipher their body language. When it was my turn to speak, I knew what kind of audience I was addressing and I spoke in terms familiar to them and so I was able to establish instant connection and rapport.
I have also worked in several companies. I have encountered types who come in acting like proverbial bulls in a china shop. They rocked the boat too soon and too much and after a short while they would leave, feeling bitter, frustrated and exasperated because they were effectively isolated by resentful and resisting insiders. Such characters, brilliant and talented as they may be, are clueless, dense, emotionally deaf and blind. It always ends up badly for them.
There was one fellow who, after realizing that I couldn’t be moved by his shock and awe tactics, ended up needing my help. In fact I became his mentor later.
Maybe it’s my personality but I have always been discrete and tactful in dealing with colleagues and subordinates. Specially people below me in rank. Even when I came in as a new supervisor, I solicited the help of the staff to guide me through in the first few days and weeks until I gained enough confidence to make decisions.
Knowing how to read the room is a critical skill in the workplace. As Annie McKee, the author of How to Be Happy at Work says: “You need to understand other people — what they want, what they don’t want, their fears, hopes, dreams, and motivations.”
There’s a similar phrase that I prefer to use: know the context.
It entails empathy and sensitivity, which to me are the most important virtues in cultivating relationships. It doesn’t mean getting to know their likes and dislikes just to exploit their strengths and weaknesses, which to me is being manipulative—although I’ve seen a lot of bosses who are skilled in this.
Knowing the context means trying to see the picture from a broader perspective so you can appreciate and understand better where the person is coming from. By doing so, you can put yourself in his shoes and get a feel of the problems and limitations that hamper his performance at the moment.
In doing so, one must be sensitive to the words being spoken out loud—as well as the unspoken ones. It is important to understand the underlying feelings, and be able to pick up on those subtle cues and signals that often are left unsaid. And when something is said, one must know how to read between the lines or the subtext.
Empathy elicits empathy. If only the fellow I mentioned at the beginning had shown a little more understanding, he would have been able to obtain the cooperation of his subordinates. If only he first took note of people’s feelings about the work, most likely, his subordinates would have been pleased to be noticed and “attended to.” Most of the time, people are only too willing to help. Too bad, he did not only read the room first, or if he did, he did not read the room right.
This ability to read the room can be applied in all areas, at home, at the office, in organizations that you’re a part of.
Zooming out to a bigger picture, among the candidates we are now considering in the coming elections, who do you think is making the sincere effort to read the room, so to speak?
Who is able to read the temper of the times? Who cares enough to get to know our problems and then propose solutions? Who is showing enough compassion to reach out to people, no matter how poor and remote, and listen sincerely to their plight?
As I said, empathy begets empathy. Who among the candidates elicits the warmest and most sincere enthusiasm from the people? This is not rocket science.
The candidate who has the mind and the heart to read the country right is the one who deserves our vote.