A VERY close cousin of mine recently gave birth. A few months into motherhood, she has experienced the richness and challenges of parenthood. It struck me when she asked me: “How do you keep yourself centered with all that’s going on around?”
I told her: “I attended a year of meditation classes before I got married because I knew my emotional and mental capacity was limited to maybe two things at a time. I have continued to read a lot of self-help books and see meditation teachers now maybe once a year.”
Here are some of the practical things I do:
1. Mindset is key. You, your baby, and your husband are individually important. Acknowledging your feelings of being tired, needing a break, not producing enough milk does not make us less of a good parent. I had a Eureka moment where I meshed my “heart” goals with my craft. I work hard at work, in society to have stories and experiences for my child to learn. So, when I must spend many days away from my family from work or working overtime, I write notes in my travels (for stories I can tell my children). Read the book Growth Mindset by Carol S. Dweck, PhD.
2. Decide which mom tasks are most critical for you. If not, delegate if you can. Ask for as much help as there is available. I found that tutoring school work in grade school (not in Pre-K or Preschool) can be delegated so I that I can focus on the other holistic development activities of my kids. But when it comes to PTCs, I never miss even the PE teacher.
3. Lastly, have alone time, even 10 minutes. My time when my kids were babies were those 10 minutes before I get out of bed—up to now, I pray the Prayer for Generosity and just say that I offer my day to God. I journal, or maybe you can do voice memos instead of quotes or reminders to yourself to keep strong. I love this app called Motivation where nice quotes pop out daily. Lately, my thing has been poetic art—www.mycsart.com—for my self-consumption.
I celebrated my recent birthdays in a foreign territories in a literal and figurative way. I was not comfortable about this because even before, I would find a way to come back from business trips even if it were the wee hours in the morning of my birthday. It was very important to me to physically feel the warmth of my family on the day of the year that I would reflect on all the things I was truly grateful for. Being this far away also extended my reflections to realize how far I have gone—from resigning to an intended fate for decades, to accepting the challenge of newness and growth.
I still have goal for many things, but I also gained the wisdom to let goals find me. It was never my plan to be an officer in the Philippine Association of National Advertisers (PANA) a decade ago because I was more of a “brand introvert” who played the role of a process-oriented engineer on the sidelines. But fate was kind to expose me and our SME company to learn from the gurus of brand building in the country, where I gained valuable insights, genuine advice, and a lot of growth opportunities.
Last January, I was given the opportunity to lead PANA together with highly accomplished marketing directors in the country, with Adi Timbol-Hernandez (McDonald’s Philippines) as vice president, Blen Fernando (Magna-Anima Teachers’ College) as corporate secretary, Mick Atienza (Smart Communications Inc.) as treasurer, Joy Jolingan (Nestlé Philippines) as public relations officer, Agnes Hernia (Rebisco) as auditor; as well as the other distinguished directors: Andrew Ahorro (Kolin Philippines International), Julie Balarbar (De La Salle University), Ron Molina (Ginebra San Miguel), Jonjon San Agustin (SM Supermalls), and Marc San Juan (Julie’s Bakeshop). I feel truly humbled given our company is far smaller than those on the board. My commitment is that as PANA enters its 64th year, I will lead our board to evolve PANA’s role of championing responsible brand building into the 3Is—Impact, Integrity, and Innovation—to varying degrees that cater to both large and small-medium enterprises.
I was inducted by Hans Sy of the SM Group, whose company legacy I have witnessed and emulated since I was barely 10. From hearing my dad’s stories of his first job in SM Tabora, to personally learning from our various business relationships with the SM Group, and, now that I am a licensed teacher, my admiration for their advocacies in education, I cannot express my elation that day…especially because my dad was watching. He was actually the happiest when he heard the news of my new position in PANA.
I know many like me have wished for the stillness and softness of life waves. Many aim for stability. While getting there, I hope you also challenge yourself to leave that “quarter of me” for newer adventures. Because that quarter of you that does truly makes a difference in living that meaningful life. n
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash