FOR years we bombarded them by saying: “The Internet is a dark place. Nothing good comes out of it. Your phone is corrupting your mind…” Then, we encourage them to seek this medium for learning.
Most children, to escape their feelings of loneliness, sadness, worries, and helplessness, started to spend an increased amount of time surfing the web, embracing social media, playing video games, watching television, listening to music, etc. Parents’ attempt to control screen time was viewed as infringing their personal space, which made the young ones angry and frustrated.
When we have an internal struggle or an inability to cope with situations we face, we are more likely to lash out, be aggressive, and react instead of respond. That’s exactly what some children are experiencing. It’s important to understand that when we are not comfortable with change, we resist. It’s the same for adults and children.
We have not spent enough time preparing for the transition to online schooling, especially for the ones who could not afford it and are missing out on their basic right to education. Children find it difficult to wake up on time, be organized for school, and complete classwork. They didn’t have the excitement of sitting with friends, and some even found it difficult to relate to the teachers through a screen. They were kept busy and overburdened, their motivation and attention toward academics further reduced, as they drifted to the “fun side,” which was a click away.
Thus, we pick up on them when they are being angry, making rude comments, not complying with instructions, ganging up on parents and teachers, finding faults and making remarks toward teachers, and not participating in online schooling. We see it as “indiscipline,” or an act of revolt toward us.
It’s important to see their behavior as something bothering them below the surface of their words and actions, as we failed to create a safe space for them to come and tell us: “You know, I don’t like this very much; this is difficult for me.” Being there to hear them and say, “Okay, can we try and make this work?” is a start.
Children do want to learn. They just don’t want to feel it’s being forced on them. Avoid smothering them with instructions, and let them have an equal say in managing their time, as they are going to be fighting you head-on for autonomy and independence. Help them create a schedule to balance surfing the Internet and learning, with sufficient breaks to avoid dependency on the Internet, while prioritizing sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
They also learn more from our actions than our advice. We need to be aware this is affecting all our individual states of mental health. And speaking of such, along with their emotions and perceptions, if our children can manage their own, these times will make them resilient.
From the beginning of lockdown, our school has kept its doors open for parents, children, teachers who have reached out to the counseling team. We have been conducting sessions for all grades to help them at this time.
The need of the hour is to be a sounding board for them to feel accepted and be understood for every kind of worry. We have to be careful about our words and actions toward them, which could leave an inflicting wound larger than the one caused by the pandemic.