Several years from now when we are sitting around the cooking fire outside our cave preparing a dinner of boiled tree bark, we will tell our stories of the pandemic. Certainly that is not going to happen even with all the gloom-and-doom economic predictions, including my own.
But we will be celebrating the birthdays of “Covid babies” and grandchildren and will tell of our experiences.
I will say that my own experience has been eating more fruits than ever before since my next-door neighbor seems to have an unlimited supply of super sweet watermelon. And, of course, my long silky white beard.
However, these past two long months brought forth an abundance of tales that prove that our Maker had a phenomenal sense of humor when creating humankind. Also it is not our intelligence that separates us from the beasts of the field. It is our ability to do dumb things and to push the limits of being ridiculous.
Time Magazine’s 2019 “High School Dropout of the Year” has gone from saving the planet from global warming to trying to stay relevant by claiming to be a victim of the other “environmental” disaster of Covid-19. “Global warming” was quickly replaced by “Toilet Paper Shortage” as a top concern in the West.
This has been a tough time in general for “environmentalists.” After literally years of a death-match battle with “big business” over things like plastic utensils, suddenly those items might be lifesavers. Maybe the first casualty of the Covid-19 was the “environmentally friendly” reusable grocery bag.
CBS News: “Massachusetts, where 130 cities had banned single-use plastic bags, last week reversed its position and instead banned reusable tote bags. San Francisco, which was one of the first US cities to ban plastic bags, this week banned reusable bags.” It gets worse. “The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says disposable dishes, utensils, napkins, and tablecloths [and plastic drinking straws?] should be the default” as full-service restaurants reopen.
Normal life as we knew it has changed. Legal brothels around the world have been closed to contain the spread of the virus. But this is not the end. Sex workers in Switzerland are naturally anxious to go back to work. Their industry organization, “ProKoRe,” has drawn up a set of strict guidelines on how to conduct their business post-pandemic.
These are not much different from other businesses. “Sex workers should wear a mouth and nose covering at all times.” But every industry has its own requirements. “It also recommends that sex positions which allow for a safe distance between faces, such as ‘doggy style’ and ‘reverse cowgirl,’ are advisable.” No comment is necessary.
Conspiracy theories are rampant. “Eleven years before the joint construction of the Wuhan Institute of Virology, French intelligence services warned that China’s reputation for poor biosecurity could lead to a catastrophic leak.” Maybe not a conspiracy theory, but why did we not hear about this until now?
Chinese Internet users either by design or destiny are best at “unique” ideas. The South China Morning Post reports the “China [government]shuts down WeChat social-media account claiming ‘US making dead Covid bodies into hamburgers.’” No comment is necessary.
Maybe it is time to start the chapters of the book. “The strangest thing I bought online,” “What I wore most often” and “Who I missed seeing the least.”
E-mail me at mangun@gmail.com. Visit my web site at www.mangunonmarkets.com. Follow me on Twitter @mangunonmarkets. PSE stock-market information and technical analysis tools provided by the COL Financial Group Inc.