IF you’re a K-pop fan, your Twitter feed the past few days must have been filled with news about the Korean boy band EXO—specifically one of its members, Chen.
Chen, Kim Jong-dae in real life, announced last Monday (January 13) that “I have a girlfriend that I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
This announcement, alone, caused an uproar online, as many K-pop fans are known for being possessive of their idols.
But that’s not all.
In the handwritten letter, Chen also said that a “blessing” came. This was interpreted as the singer saying his partner was pregnant.
For us Filipinos and Westerners, this announcement is no big deal. Chen is 29 years old (Korean age), and many men of that age in our country are already married. But Korean fans are angry because the news signified that Chen and his future wife engaged in premarital sex, something Korean fans labeled as “anti-feminist.”
My personal stand, as a fan of K-pop as a genre and a longtime supporter of EXO, is that what artists and celebrities do away from the stage is really their own business. It pains me to think what Chen must have gone through in writing that letter.
As a mother, I think of the long years the idols (as they are called in K-pop) trained in singing, dancing and personality development, and the diets and procedures they go through just to be more attractive to fans, and my heart hurts that they cannot even be allowed to date and love freely.
As a human being, I am baffled as to why idols can’t date. Surely, dating will not affect the way they sing and interact with fans? I am sure that fans know the idols will never date us. My mentality as a fan is that the only thing we get back from our favorites is that they share their talent with us. As fans, we can transfer our love, and support, to other idols and groups, but the artists are stuck with what they have. Yes, they are rich and famous ,but they are not free to do what they want.
I am aware that compared with most people, these idols are blessed. They have more money than we will ever see in our lifetimes. But they are also human. They have needs, such as companionship.
There have been arguments on the part of Chen’s fans in Korea that they spent their money on his own albums, on his group’s albums, on concert tickets, merchandise and many other fan-related things. This, in turn, was money that Chen spent for himself, his family and his new family, including the baby. If this is a valid argument, until when does Chen or any idol who gets married need to be alone and single so that they can repay us?
Sungmin of the group Super Junior is in exile because he is married.
In 2017, Sungmin had to write this letter because he couldn’t be part of Super Junior’s comeback:
“Hello, this is Sungmin. I’m writing to you all for the first time in a while because of various situations. First, I’d like to apologize for causing worry to so many fans. There has been a lot of negative talk about me recently, but it was a situation I couldn’t act alone on. I’m sorry for the late response.
“When I look back on when I was preparing for marriage, I don’t think I was considerate or truthful to the fans who’ve loved me for over 10 years now. I think I should’ve communicated more with my fans, who were hurt due to rumors and misunderstandings.
“When I was serving in the army, I always looked forward to promoting with Super Junior once again. However, I really want the next album to do well, so I decided to withdraw from their promotions. As a Super Junior member, I want my group to receive love for a long time. In light of ongoing controversies, I feel my decision to step away for this album is the best for the group. I feel very sorry to the fans who’ve loved and supported me, but I think I need to work harder and have more time to reflect on myself. I ask ELFs to support Super Junior’s comeback.”
I mean, why does a man need to apologize for getting married? It’s not like he committed economic sabotage or unleashed a weapon of mass destruction.
As I write this column, hashtags related to Chen, good and bad, continue to trend. The fans are still fighting. Some fans in Korea have destroyed Chen’s solo albums and photo cards. Many of the singer’s fansites have closed. Given Korea’s reaction to Chen’s announcement, it is unclear what the future holds for him. What’s clear is that he is an artist with great talent, and while some have condemned him for what is a normal rite of passage, there are still many fans who will continue to support him.
2 comments
I do agree with this article. I feel bad for these artists who suffer just for being human.
Good will prevail. I am proud of Chen being brave and man enough to tell the world that he loves and would make a decent woman out of his girlfriend especially that they’re gonna have a baby. A positive move in their relationship means that it will be ok and God will be on their side. So proud of you Chennie!