I REMEMBER buying this graphic biography of Steve Jobs at the Hong Kong International Airport in 2015. I gave it to Meagan first. At age nine, I was surprised to see her read it cover to cover around 10 times that month. Even for Costume Day in school a few years later, she still chose to dress up like Steve Jobs.
It made me realize more how deliberate our choices must be in the story we eventually leave behind. I wonder how great people, like Steve Jobs, “write their story.” Do they “write” it for themselves, or know from the onset that people will be “reading” their life one day? For us parents, are we aware of the “as of” story we have been “writing” all this time? Would we like our kids to “read” it one day? This week, let me add another entry to my series, called M2M2 (Mom to Meagan and Marcus).
“This past long weekend had been a restful and reflective time for Mom. I found time to organize our photos and videos by year. I was able to compile the more special ones from years 2004 to 2013 into one folder. I saw the celebrations, the travels and the funny moments. Marcus, you had so many cheeky photos doing sports. Meagan, all your photos had that model pose and witty smile.
“I also found out my favorite cousin was getting married, so I went through my memorabilia
drawers to look for past invitations I had compiled through the years. In that drawer I found two of my schedule books—one from 1995, the year I graduated from high school; and one in 1997 when I was a sophomore in college.
“In these schedule books were not just my homework assignments. It had my journal entries, chosen quotes, my poetry, my art and even letters I could not send out. Meagan, you were so curious you started reading through the pages, and even read out loud some entries. While I was hearing words which I wrote more than 20 years ago, I felt I was transported back to the same emotions. While I was going through each page, I felt I was reading a chapter of my own story.
“I never understood where or how I got the compulsion to document my life with so much facts and feelings. But today, I feel grateful that I have these snippets of my life to concretely share with both of you. It makes you see Mom’s story. It allows you to see Mom’s joys and strengths, as well as Mom’s sadness and imperfections. Below are some of the quotes or thoughts found in these schedule books that I hope can inspire both of you:
1. “A life worth living is knowing that each day we experience is a gift.”—Mom
2. “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, touch our hearts and we are never the same…thanking you for touching my life.”—My classmate, Luisa Evangelista
3. “You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.”—Mary Pickford
4. “You may fight a battle more than once to win it.”—Margaret Thatcher
5. “The world is round and the place which may seem like the end, may also be only the beginning.”—Ivy Baker Priest
6. “When life becomes all snarled up, offer it to our Lord and let Him untie the knots.”—Anonymous
7. “Contentment is not the fulfillment of want you want, but the realization of how much you already have.”—Anonymous
8. “There is no such thing as half-trying.”—Mom
9. “Forgiveness is letting what was, be gone; what will be, come; what is now, be.”—Anonymous
10. “Regret seeps in…when the will is weak. Capture your soul…and affirmation would come. Bear this power…and time will have none.”—Mom
“Mom started journaling since I was in grade school. I think I have always intended to write an autobiography for my future kids. I was always fascinated to hear the stories of my grandparents and relatives, that I always wished more had been written down. I believe it is in those stories that allowed me to pick the values I admired and shape the person I have become today.
“Through the years of documentation, I discovered my most favorite form of personal poetry. I freely dirtied my hands with art materials, then organized my free piece with words. I consequently realized that reading one’s past made me more liable for my own future. I became more aware of mistakes I would not want to repeat. I became more sure of what mattered most in my life.
“I know both of you are still young. However, I hope for each of you to see your life as an ongoing story. You are the author, so you are accountable. There might be different characters, but you decide the depth of their role. The ending is inevitably beyond our control, but the present is definitely ours to own. And regardless of the positivity or the hurt an experience may bring, you control the next page of your story.
“Mom’s life is far from perfect. At times, there are ‘chapters’ I felt at that time I wanted to omit, or even tear out. And yet, I chose to leave it be. As I read them today, I actually appreciate more my perfectly imperfect life.
“Happy story-writing, Meagan and Marcus! May you write your own wonderful stories each day!”
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