LAST week, I related how my learning journey influenced my life choices. I shared that for my kids, my primary goal has been to foster their love for learning to prepare them for their own future pursuits in life. This week let me expound on the four important points I have learned through the years in guiding my children’s learning journey.
1. Children need discipline and it should be given at home. The book Dare to Discipline by James C. Dobson made me understand the balance between free-flowing and authoritative parenting and its effect on learning. A teacher also once pointed out to me that a child who does not respect authority at home actually hampers a child’s learning because he or she will also not respect the teachers in school who are trying to impart knowledge.
2. It’s up to the parents to choose and create the learning environment. I have chosen a “learn through play” environment for my kids. I introduced and augmented concepts of math, English and other subjects since my kids were toddlers with the use of play and art. I also remember Queena Lee-Chua’s answer when she was asked what school she would recommends. She pointed out that each school values different things. Some recognize athletes more. Others post tarpaulins of academic achievers. It is for parents to decide what they would like to value for their kids’ education. For me, I wanted a learning environment where my kids would be exposed to books, learning tools and learned people; where they would not just listen and get tested but learn to love learning. However, I also decided early on that discipline is important to develop. I still chose a traditional route for the big school until they were eight but employed a lot of games and art-infused learning at home. During summer, I would enroll them in Montessori programs.
3. Children don’t just need to learn from books; they need to learn from and about life. The best illustration for this is when I discovered the book series called Who Was. This is a book series published by Grosset & Dunlap, which makes kid-friendly the biographies of important people. One of the first books we enjoyed was about Steve Jobs. It started with them using the iPad, then challenging them to ask which company it came from, which then led to one of the founders, Steve Jobs. My daughter found him so fascinating that to date, she has read three different books about him. One of the most important life skills I would like my kids to learn is not being afraid of committing mistakes. I foster a lot of trial-and-error at home. For example, over something as simple as when my kids spill their soup, I keep calm and guide them on where to put the soup bowl in the future to prevent it from happening again. I also discovered that art is the best way to develop this. Kids can draw freely. They can create at their own pace. I especially love the idea of kids creating something beautiful from something messy.
4. Children should enjoy learning. I want my kids to be happy and enjoy the process of learning. I take the cue from how much they like going to school every day. I also take time to talk to my kids’ teachers. I ask how they are in class; what they find enjoyable and frustrating; what they are interested in. Then, I try to supplement their experiences at home. For instance, when Marcus got interested in science, I bought him toys where he could experiment with colors because I knew he loved coloring.
My learning path for my kids started with me observing through play how each child effectively learns. I observed through sensory exercises that Meagan was a visual learner. She learned through pictures. So, when it came to memorizing a song or poem, we would draw pictures and add plus signs in between them. She also learned better through stories. When she had a hard time with math in the first grade, I combined her love for fashion with math. I asked her how she would sew a dress one day if she did not know how to measure the amount of fabric needed. When she finally got a gold medal in school, I challenged her to try theater just to experience it. Today at 13, I do not need to push Meagan on her school work. She has consistently been topping her class. But more important, I see her dig deep into topics from her own curiosity.
She would ask her sports coaches on her own on the required practice time and drills. After she joined MTAP (math) out-of-school competitions, she asked me if I could talk to her teacher to be coached more, because they got eliminated on the early rounds. She also initiates to try things she is not familiar with, like choir or instruments.
Why is it important to build your child’s learning journey? I believe the best gift we can give our kids are tools for their accountable and fulfilled futures. Their learning journey is a practice to real life. How they put in the work, learn from mentors, accept mistakes and try again—these are choices they would need to make on their own one day. It is good to prepare them early. It is good to expose them to the perspective of learning beyond external accolade. Gradually, they will set the pace on their own. And we can be on the sidelines, confidently cheering them on, toward a journey they chose on their own.