By Dee Angeles Mandigma
It was year 2008, I was a new graduate and was very idealistic to start a professional life. I was unstoppable and always on the go for that big break.
Days passed into weeks, and weeks to months, I was not able to find a job I like—there were a few but they were not my cup of tea, to say the least. I thought what is the use of my being smart and bemedaled, if I will just be unemployed? I thought I was simply useless.
It wasn’t until February of that year when my father, Isidro Garcia Mandigma, started to fall ill. He was diabetic, but it was only then when we found out that his kidneys were failing—he was diagnosed with Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD) and had to go through the dreaded dialysis for life. He had no choice, my family had no choice but to put him on this renal replacement therapy. He had it thrice a week. At that time, dialysis was at its infancy—not a popular choice for kidney patients. It was very expensive. Imagine, we have to shell out P15,000 a week for my dad to live longer. I saw my dad suffer from kidney failure. I took care of him, brought him to his dialysis treatments, and saw him develop complications and deteriorate over time.
It was very taxing for all of us, especially for mom, who was the bread winner of the family at that time. My mom Evelyn Angeles Mandigma, is a public-school teacher for 30 years, but was only earning half of the salary of an ordinary clerk. It barely made our ends meet, just enough to feed a family but not a husband on dialysis. Good thing, my brother Lee and I were both scholars in college.
I had no choice but to seek help of all kinds—financial and medical—to the point of begging from my relatives, and friends alike for my dad’s dear life. At first people were still very enthusiastic to help, very selfless, but sooner or later this kindness and empathy would turn into coldheartedness and apathy. Soon enough people stop giving. And soon enough our funds for my dad’s medical needs ended up dry and empty.
It was very frustrating and saddening that these things would happen to a very kind man such as my dad. He was very giving, altruistic and charitable when he was still at his prime. I thought where have all the people gone? Where have all the people whom he once helped gone? Not a single soul gave out a penny or two. I almost gave up. It was tiring—begging for dole outs wore me out. Until one day when dad said, “It’s all good for the day—let us stop dialysis, will you? Let me just rest and wait for God’s mercy.” I willingly oblige a father’s request. But I was very worried at that point because no dialysis means toxins could pile up in the body. And true enough, it was only a day or two when dad went heavily toxic to the point of hallucinating. It was the time I saw him become a child again. Indeed, when death was almost within arm’s reach, one turns childlike, as if coming full circle. Then one gloomy morning, dad breathed his last.
Dad left us without a single word—so heartless way to leave the family who loved him most, I thought. But I guess it was his way of bearing the pain and agony—all to himself. What love! He died from CKD at 52. He never had the chance to get a kidney transplant because of its high cost and the lack of a kidney donor.
While dialysis and other medical procedures proved to be very daunting for us family, burying the dead was also equally challenging. But the Lord has been good, we managed to give my dad a decent burial despite the many problems we encountered during his wake.
It pains me to remember my dad now that I myself am on dialysis twice a week. It took me a while to accept my health condition. In fact, there was a time I questioned God. I got angry at Him because I know that I am not a bad person and I do not deserve to bear this health condition, this burden. I questioned God—I questioned Him when I had a hard time finding a job then; I questioned Him why He had to take my dad’s life at such an early age, and at the time when my brother and I were barely turning adult, at the time when mom was still penniless and neck-deep in debt; and I questioned Him now that I have to go through this in life for myself, to be on dialysis like dad.
CKD is one of the most dreadful and deadly diseases across the world today. The number of people having it—both young and old—is very alarming. I have seen old folks, millennials and even kids get CKD. And these past few weeks alone, I could count to three people, some I know of and some I don’t, dying from it and never had the chance to have a kidney transplant.
CKD otherwise known as the End Stage Renal Disease (ESRD) is already the seventh leading cause of death among the Filipinos. One Filipino develops chronic renal failure every hour or about 120 Filipinos per million population per year. This is according to the National Kidney and Transplant Institute (NKTI), where many Filipino patients are presently undergoing dialysis—including me once before transferring to a private dialysis clinic in Manila (I.M. Health Medical, Dialysis and Wellness Center).
According to NKTI, more than 5,000 Filipino patients are presently undergoing dialysis—including me—and approximately 1.1 million people worldwide are on renal replacement therapy. Reliable estimates reveal that the number of these patients would have doubled 10 years ago.
In the past, chronic glomerulonephritis was the most common cause of chronic renal failure. Today, diabetes mellitus and hypertension have taken center stage in the causation of CKD which together account for almost 60 of dialysis patients.
The cost of medical treatment for kidney disease is really exorbitant, beyond the reach of ordinary patients. Renal transplantation is limited due to the expenses and the shortage of donor. The best can be done at present is to focus efforts on the prevention of progression of renal diseases. Strict blood pressure and glycemic control, and adoption of “healthy lifestyle” play a major role in reducing if not totally controlling the epidemic of renal failure and this could be achieved through proper education.
According to the National Kidney Foundation (NKF) in the United States, 10 percent of the population worldwide is affected by CKD, and millions die each year because they do not have access to affordable treatment. In the 2010 Global Burden of Disease study, CKD was ranked 27th in the list of causes of total number of deaths worldwide in 1990, but rose to 18th in 2010. This degree of movement up the list was second only to that for HIV and AIDS.
Today, CKD is a worldwide health crisis. In 2005 alone, there were approximately 58 million deaths worldwide, with 35 million attributed to CKD, according to the World Health Organization. CKD can be treated. With early diagnosis and treatment, it’s possible to slow or stop the progression of kidney disease.
I never would have thought that I will eventually become part of these figures, these statistics of people suffering with kidney failure. Indeed, everything happens for a reason. Mine could be because the Lord wanted to put me in this very important task of being the champion of CKD, of healthy lifestyle, organ donation, and ultimately, to bring the goodness and mercy of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
I never would have thought that I will develop this health condition at such a young age. And never did I expect that I will have to go through the equally-dreaded dialysis treatment just like my dad.
It wasn’t until family, friends and Christian brethren told me that there is hope and there is healing in Jesus Christ. And all I have to do is accept Him as my Lord and Savior.
I believe I went through all these health battles so that I would realize that I am just human and that there is God. I think it was God’s wake up call for me and telling that, “Hey son you’ve had your fair share of happiness in the world, it’s now my turn. I am, after all, your Creator, the reason for your very existence and without me you are nothing and none of these would have been possible.”
I hope that by sharing my recent life’s journey—my continuous battle with CKD, my twice a week dialysis and Lord willing, my kidney transplant in February, I would inspire people—people who are losing hope and who has gone astray from our Lord—drive awareness on this prevalent health condition of CKD and eventually, find help for those who are in need of medical assistance and a kidney donor (there are so many).
I am a CKD patient myself and I am a living testimony of second chances, survival and Lord willing, a successful kidney transplant. I had no inkling that I was already a walking case of a CKD patient. It wasn’t until our annual physical exams (APE) in the Department of Tourism (DOT) when I had a startling discovery of my health condition—my creatinine level—bodily toxins—are beyond the normal range. A healthy person has a creatinine level that ranges from 1.2 to 1.5 mg/dl, but mine was at an alarming 8.5 mg/dl. At the time, I had no known symptoms except that everything I eat seems tasteless and unappealing. I also noticed occasional leg cramps. Those were, in fact, the tell-tale signs of a failing kidney, an elevated creatinine and unfortunately, CKD.
But our Lord is, indeed, a merciful one, He has allowed me to recover from my over a month hospitalization and let me be productive again. He has restored my speaking, walking, writing and my entire physical abilities. All glory and thanks to Him. Had it not been for friends and family, who have kept me in their prayers and surrounded me with love, I wouldn’t have been able to overcome the difficult hospital scare.
To everyone who is going to see this story, don’t wait for that critical situation to happen in your life before you even realize that everything around you is temporary, fleeting, and your life is largely dependent on God. And when sickness comes, it’s time to really listen to what our body is saying, but more so, to what God is saying. The past months, weeks and days have brought me a lot of realizations. The very first realization is the reality of death, but more so, the reality of God as we face death. We all will die. Sooner or later, we all will meet our God someday. But I guess it is not in dying that really should matter to us because that is given. Instead, it is on how we live the life God has blessed us with that we should focus—the opportunity to become better persons, and do whatever mission we still can do. Yes, I got sick and I may not be as healthy and strong as before but I have survived, I have lived. My sickness made me rest a while, that was five long months of rest for me. It also made me realize that I needed others; I needed God.
It’s been more than five months since I have resumed work in the DOT. I have been doing well since. By God’s grace, I am surviving this health condition and everything that comes with it. Honestly, though, I went through a long period of depression, anger, guilt and a lot of emotional baggage. Until one day when the Lord let me realized how blessed I am still and how He has never abandoned me. That one day, I began to talk to people around me and start living the life, one step at a time. I owe it also to our Lord for teaching me how to save for emergency situations like this. Although I wish I had used my life-savings somewhere else, I had no choice, the family had no choice, but to use it during my hospitalization. But the Lord works in mysterious ways, He continues to provide for all my medical needs since then.
Also, I was lucky enough to find someone who’s willing to help me, an altruistic kidney donor has presented herself already. All along she was just there patiently waiting for the right time to come out and tell me about it. She doesn’t want to be named and prefers to remain incognito. Her decision to help me came as a surprise. I thought, of all people, she would decide to help me. I asked our Lord, what did I do to deserve this kindness?
But perhaps, it is one way of telling me that our He never stops working. And He works in rather mysterious ways. Imagine, I need not look far to find help. And so I humbly accepted this blessing from God. I believe that by accepting this gift of life from her is allowing God’s blessing to flow upon her, too.
Indeed, I realized that there is still kindness and humanity in this world. This happily married woman in her 40s would still find the courage to help someone like me restore the normal quality of life I once enjoyed. What love! I could not thank her enough, her family and her children, for letting me experience love like no other.
However, my supposedly forthcoming kidney transplant has been “put on hold” until I find a new kidney donor. My supposedly perfect kidney match donor Ate was not fit to be a kidney donor after my doctors and I found out that she is “prediabetic.” The NKTI Ethics committee said No for her as a kidney donor and No to my kidney transplant. My team of doctors opted for me and my donor’s safety. They wanted me to get a better kidney donor—one that has healthier kidney. A pre-diabetic donor has a slightly injured kidneys already and can be compared to a slightly-used organ.
Instead, my doctors have advised me to find another kidney match. So, I shall move on however difficult and disappointing this may be. I know that God has a purpose. And I know in my heart’s heart that if it is His will that I get a new kidney, He will give it to me in His most perfect time. His, will, not ours and not mine, be done. The search for kidney donor number two has just begun.
However, finding a kidney donor is just one of the long and daunting processes of restoring the normal quality of life I once enjoyed. The journey is just beginning, as kidney transplant entails a long, daunting and expensive process.
I hope that by way of this feature story and letting you know about my health condition, I am also giving you the opportunity to help this writer continue to write his own life story, a story of second chances, of survival and hopefully, a kidney transplant success story. I also want to take this opportunity to inform all the people who could possibly read this story of mine, my relatives, friends, colleagues, even my own bosses in the department who could also help me on this.
I know in my heart that one day, these kidneys will function well again. And that I will be free from the very difficult requirement of dialysis just to live for a day. Until that day comes, I rest on God’s words and messages in the Bible—His promise of healing and health renewal, and total restoration.
And I claim Jesus’ healing promise. I know that You are a healing God! You are Yahweh Rapha! You have healed so many people generations ago, so much so You can heal me to this day! You are the same healing God yesterday, today and tomorrow! Thy will be done!
Dee Angeles Mandigma, 35 years of age, has been working in the Department of Tourism for over five years already, although it was only two years ago when he got promoted to a permanent government position in the department as Information IV (Supervising information officer).
His work in the department entails intensive writing and communications. He is part of a team that handles all the key communications and creative messaging of the department—from remarks of the secretary, to Department messages and official statements, to writing media releases.
He has drafted more than a hundred major policy speeches for the Department under three DOT Secretaries already. His work requires him to stay in the shadows, to be the unnamed writer, unacknowledged for most parts, but Dee takes pride in everything that he does for the Department and his principal. Writing, for him, is a ministry, his own little way to give glory to our Jesus.
1 comment
Dee – thanks for sharing your story. My dad dies at 28 years old from kidney disease. Many people don’t realize the CKD runs in families, so finding a kidney donor outside the family is crucial. We were fortunate to find a donor for my daughter Jenna thanks to Facebook. My 2 sisters need a transplant now so we keep searching. Luckily we have “paired donation” swaps here so finding a willing donor who doesn’t match Is fine, because you can trade with someone else in the same situation. That saved Jenna! Hopefully your story will bring awareness to the plight of kidney patients. Sending you all the best wishes from Los Angeles!