AT times we catch ourselves asking, “Is this where we imagined ourselves to be?” Are we as lucky, happy, wealthy and healthy as we hoped to be? In a more philosophical questioning: Is there any person who can say they are content and want nothing more?
Since I was in high school, I always wrote about peace and “stillness.” I often considered a calm life as my ultimate goal. It might be because of our tumultuous family life. It might be because I was afraid of the feelings of unexpected ups and downs. Whatever it was, I associated contentment with non-turbulence.
Looking back, life has been an ongoing “thesis.” As much as I pursued business tools from books and schooling, I always found it of primordial importance to seek what would matter the most in my life. So, far earlier than reading business books, I enjoyed letting time fall off a cliff in a bookstore’s philosophy or self-help aisle. As I read, I found myself challenging my original “life premises.” As I challenged them, I unearthed childhood “non-negotiables.” The result is I have been able to “re-sketch” my life at various points.
The Illustrated Discovery Journal by Sarah Ban Breathnach was a useful guide for me in my 20s to discover my authentic self. It took me years to do the collages. I took my time to cut out clippings from magazines. I would do each section in intervals that sometimes spanned months. The result is a life reference guide that I still use today. This process took out that “resume” view on seeing one’s life and realizing that our own lens bears more importance. I have shared my lessons from this book in early 2017. But in lieu of “re-sketching,” above are the collages that helped me realize it’s okay to want more and feel more at the same time.
HBR’s 10 Must Reads—On Managing Yourself is a book with articles from different business gurus. I love How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton M. Christensen. Here, the author challenges everyone to explore these three questions:
“How can I be sure that I’ll be happy with my career?” “How can I be sure that my relationships with my spouse and my family become an enduring source of happiness”
“How can I be sure I’ll stay out of jail? [How can I live my life with integrity?]
It highlights Frederick Herzberg’s assertion that “the most powerful motivator isn’t money; it’s the opportunity to learn, grow in responsibilities, contribute and be recognized.” It further states: “If you’re not guided by a clear sense of purpose, you’re likely to fritter away your time and energy on obtaining the most tangible, short-term signs of achievement, not what’s really important to you.”
The articles I particularly liked were “Managing Oneself” by Peter F. Drucker, and “Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time” by Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy. Drucker posits that to build a life of excellence, one must reflect on one’s strengths, how one works, his or her values, one’s sense of belonging and what one may contribute. Schwartz and McCarthy’s four dimensions of personal energy is something I continue to use like a personal “balanced scorecard” today. These include physical, emotional, mental and spiritual energy.
I was entering my 30s when I read this book. My husband and I just had our first child. My work was short of demanding that I had to return to work only a month after my C-section. I was pushed by this book to “allocate” my time, energy and talent in accordance to my “life’s strategy.”
Design the Life You Love by Ayse Birsel was my most recent reading on this topic. Originally, I bought this as a gift for a millennial. Then I got interested in the drawing, mapping exercises and the excerpts from great philosophers in between sections. This book leads one to deconstruct, open one’s points of view, reconstruct one’s life and create maps, lists, poetry or a manifesto as a concrete expression.
I believe this exercise of “re-sketching” has no age boundaries. Even if one is at a senior age, one can still redesign one’s life. It does not mean the life lived in prior years was a mistake. It just means that circumstances or one’s personality might have changed.
Today, my measure for life contentment has changed tremendously. It is no longer one-dimensional. I realized “stillness” is not the goal. It is part of a life spectrum that one must undergo. Contentment is no longer just one goal. Why? Because if contentment were a goal, then it means I always have to chase after it. For every “re-sketch” in my life, I realized I wanted to “measure my life” on my own terms and metrics. For every “life iteration,” I looked back and saw the most worthy “action plans” were when I gave attention to my spirit, mind and body.
I was able to “re-sketch” because I never saw the process as damning my previous chapter as a mistake. I “re-sketched” because I knew there’s still so much more that what lies ahead. The result is an “unapologetic life” that fuels me with more energy; and a far courageous outlook that allows me to pursue meaning more than stillness.
Happy re-sketching, everyone!