FIRST impressions last. And yet, it seems people keep forgetting that first impressions go beyond what we wear. If you want to make the best of meeting new people, you have to do more than dress the part. You need to make a good first impression. As I mentioned when I started out this year, this column is all about improving yourself. So here are some of the things you can do to make a good first impression, and help you become more likable.
Like yourself first because no one likes a wet blanket. A positive outlook on life and what happens along the way is key to enjoying what you have right now. Having a sense of satisfaction and pride in your accomplishments and what you have done in your life gives you a positive sense of self. When you are positive about yourself and about life, it translates into how you project yourself to others. It must be said, however, that being positive does not mean bragging about what you have accomplished. You need to be humble. The peculiar thing about humility is that it is not something you claim for yourself. The moment you claim it for yourself, you lose it. A healthy dose of self-awareness and being content and comfortable in your own skin goes a long way in ensuring you will be liked by others. It has to start with yourself.
People like a person who can laugh at themselves. A healthy sense of self also helps in being comfortable with laughing at yourself. There is always a time for being serious, such as in a business meeting, but when meeting new people, you need to relax and be able to laugh at yourself. We all have insecurities and a good part of being able to laugh at ourselves is being comfortable with our imperfections. People who can laugh at themselves are perceived as self-confident and self-assured, and these qualities make you likable in return. On social occasions, it is never a good thing if people tiptoe around you unless that is the image you want to project. But if you want to be likable, then go ahead and let your guard down and laugh at yourself.
Be passionate about what you do. Your work defines most of what you are going to do for the day and if you do not like your work, it shows. People notice. People are drawn toward those who are passionate about their work in the hopes they can also find that spark which will make them enjoy their work. I have noticed the same with my team. When I am feeling really disinterested and uncreative, they can feel it when I review their work. When I am excited to review their work, they also become excited to showcase what they have accomplished. And so it goes when we meet people for the first time. They can sense how passionate we are about what we do. A word of caution though: if all you ever do is talk about your work, it becomes a turn off. The way you talk about your work should be enough to give them an idea of not only what you have accomplished but also your passion and dedication. Too much of it and all they will hear is you and that can easily become insufferable.
Which brings me to another point: be genuinely interested in people. A quick trick to be instantly likable is to ask someone you have just met to explain something to you. Asking such lets their guard down because, in a way, you are asking their help and you are acknowledging their expertise, which, in turn, makes it easier for them to like you. But it also does not stop there. Ask follow-up questions. A good sign that you are interested in what they are saying is when you ask follow-ups because it means you are listening to them. Another way you can show interest is by using their name once in a while. This gives them a sense of importance because you have taken note of their name. All of these are borne out of actively listening to them and being genuinely interested.
There is also a counterintuitive approach you can do to make people like you more. It is called the Benjamin Franklin Effect, which posits that people like you more when you ask favors from them. This has been confirmed by a group of Japanese psychologists from Hosei University, and the results are published in the Journal of Social Psychology. Asking people for favors works because if they did a favor for you, it means they actually like you enough to have done the favor. Simple favors like asking them to pass the bottle or hand you something reinforces their belief that they like you enough to have done what they did. Oddly enough, this makes you more likable.
Another way you can become more likable is your body language. A simple handshake communicates more than just pleasantries, it also shows your confidence. A quick glance of the history of the handshake will show you it was done to show the other person you are not concealing any weapons. So when you do the handshake, you are actually saying you are a safe person. A quick trick to make yourself likable is to mimic the body language of the person you are talking to. If they take a sip of their drink, do the same. If they turn their body toward you, do the same. This gives the person you are talking the impression you are like them, and you are saying you are the same and there is nothing to be afraid of.
These simple tips are guaranteed to make you more likable and help you avoid stepping on the wrong foot. You will also notice that the more you employ these tips in your personal or professional life, the more likely you are to avoid social faux pas.
If you want to be the kind of person who walks into the room and puts a smile on everybody’s face, make sure you put your best foot forward by putting these tips to good use.