EVER since I launched my book Pinoy Manners: A Modern Guide to Delicadeza for All Generations a year ago, I have received immensely positive response to the advice I gave on how to deal with “sticky social” situations and increasing encouragement to continue what I started. Not a few readers acknowledged that there is a pressing need to remind not only our younger generation but also the general public about the necessity of being kind, decent, respectful and grateful, given that many of our old, traditional values have been rendered obsolete or irrelevant by some of today’s modern practices, especially in social media.
Thanks to everyone who read the book and bought copies to give away as gifts, and to those who gave suggestions on what other topics to include for part two of Pinoy Manners.
In the spirit of gratitude, I would also like to thank the 2017 Jaime Cardinal Sin Book Awards for naming Pinoy Manners as one of the top 3 finalists for the youth category of the prestigious book event. I consider it a huge honor for Pinoy Manners to have been recognized and picked out of the hundreds of entries and given the chance to participate in the recently held awarding ceremonies at the 38th Manila International Book Fair.
I am equally grateful for the nomination of Pinoy Manners for the National Book Awards 2017 in the leisure category.
As I move on to the second volume of Pinoy Manners, I would like to touch a bit on a few common business situations and the issues that might arise from these—and how we believe these should be addressed.
We in the communications industry, and particularly in public relations and marketing, must be constantly mindful of practicing courtesy, graciousness and good manners in all business communications.
According to Daniel Post Senning, the great-great grandson of the doyenne of social etiquette Emily Post and the author of Manners in a Digital World, The etiquette territory that changes the most quickly tends to be the manners around communications.
Let’s take a quick look at some familiar practices in our business environment:
How to exchange or hand out calling cards
Although Senning now considers calling cards as “largely obsolete”, I would assert that this is, so far, not true in the Philippines, where the majority, if not all, of the business people I meet still use and dispense calling cards.
A useful reminder: Make sure you hand out crisp and clean cards, not soiled or crumpled ones you might have fished out from the ‘debris” at the bottom of your purse.
Remember that your card represents you and your company, so look at the recipient directly and smile as you hand them one.
There have been some discussions about when and how to give out calling cards. People in sales and marketing, such as those working in hotels or salespeople/representatives offering the services of their companies, are expected and even mandated to give their cards at first meeting. This is why we are not surprised when such professionals even go around the room handing their cards to everyone and expecting their cards in return.
However, if you are handed a calling card by a new acquaintance on first meeting, please accept it even if you have no card of your own to exchange, and say thank you. Calling cards remain essential tools in our business culture because these lend formality to first meetings and provide the most practical way of getting to know—and remember—the name of a person.
I think this is still far better than the increasingly popular practice among young businesspeople of simply asking for someone’s contact details to save on their mobile phones.
An acceptable exception would be when you’re not particularly interested in knowing their positions, the name of their company or their official address.
But, if you want to show interest in a new business acquaintance’s job title and company, go ahead and ask for the person’s calling card, then hold on to it as carefully as you can. Never absentmindedly set it aside or handle it carelessly, especially in their presence. During meetings, I personally place the calling cards on the table in front of me so I can easily refer to their names by glancing at their cards.
There is an Asian “ritual” of people handing their business cards with both hands because this conveys more respect. This is a fine practice, especially when you are meeting with important clients, CEOs or heads of companies who are not expected to reciprocate. The gesture of giving your card is for introducing yourself and indicating what your position is. If they give you their card in return, then you must thank them. Do not, however, expect the bosses to hand you their card. They don’t have to.
How to introduce people to each other
At a first meeting, the person who is doing the introduction is expected to introduce the younger people or the parties who are presenting a proposal to the bosses, the superiors or the decision makers.
Thus, it should be: Sir (addressing the head of the company or your boss), may I introduce you to…and you must start with the person with the highest position in the party (so if it’s a group, for example, start with the president, the vice president and the account managers). You must introduce them according to their positions.
If that becomes somewhat confusing, you may introduce the group from your perspective, so it would be from left to right, but make sure you identify their positions in the group.
What if you don’t know their names, positions and ranking?
This is the reason you should find out ahead (of the meeting or the lunch) who are coming so you can do the introductions properly. Do your homework and learn the names and positions of the people you are meeting with.
How to write to a company where you have no known contact
This has relevance to potential job applicants or to those seeking to join an internship program of a company. It also applies to letter writers offering their company’s services to a potential client.
Never address a letter with “Dear Sir” or “Dear Madam” because this will reveal that you don’t know the name of the recipient of your letter.
It is better to err on the side of getting a “wrong name”, for you may discover later that the name is no longer valid. But do your homework before writing any letter. You can only be wrong based on the information you have gathered, but you will at least show that you had made an effort to search for a real name and not merely resorted to “Dear Sir”.
You can do online research on a company, or, to ensure that your information is up to date, you can make inquiries at the human-resources department of a company.
If you are not willing to take the initiative of acquiring the correct identities of people you wish to communicate with, you must not expect them to take the trouble of replying to you.
More topics on business manners to follow.
PR Matters is a roundtable column by members of the local chapter of the UK-based International Public Relations Association (Ipra), the world’s premier association for senior communications professionals around the world. Joy Lumawig-Buensalido is the president and CEO of Buensalido & Associates Public Relations.
PR Matters is devoting a special column each month to answer our readers’ questions about public relations. Please send your questions or comments to askipraphil@gmail.com.