LAST week I shared my view about the “Luck of Me”, pointing out my belief that self-love has a lot to do with self-luck.
I believe self-love allows us to look at ourselves and see that “collage” we want in our life. It’s like when we create a fashion collection, and we make a mood board. That board becomes the peg of what fits and what stays out.
Then when luck finds us, we would actually recognize it. As I cited last week: How many times did we pass up an opportunity and regret afterward because we didn’t know that was what we wanted? How many times did we actually have something but took it for granted, later on realizing that was what we wanted all along?
The year after college exposed me to a myriad of beginnings, endings, what-ifs and complete solitude. It was a period of scary isolation I wasn’t very used to. In one of my regular trips to National Book Store, I chanced upon this book: The Illustrated Discovery Journal by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It was a guide for making your visual autobiography. Since I had a lot of free evenings, I gave it a shot.
I honestly feel this discovery journal has made the difference in “pegging” my luck. It’s like when life throws me an experience, I know which missing piece it fits. And the fun part is that as you are filling these pieces, you see your life evolve while also realizing that these are the things you pegged from way back that still truly matter in the end. I made this discovery journal at least 15 years ago and still, when I look through it today, it’s still very much relevant.
Even if you’re way past college years, or can see the senior-citizen signpost not too far away, I still suggest you start the exercise. At best, you will feel fulfillment in realizing that you’ve actually achieved what you wanted, or you become aware of the things you still want to peg for.
Below are some of the lessons I learned from the book. I suggest you start gathering old and new magazines, significant photos from your past, or even just a simple pen and an unlined notebook to draw out the simplest stick drawings you can.
- I found my style. It pushed me to search for my “look”. It laid out the reality that “you cannot embark on a spiritual path within, and not see it reflected on the outside”.
Honestly, this was one of the hardest sections to do, because I was never a “stylish” person.
Pick images of your dream appearance. What is the physical look, what are the colors how do you dream to look like in your aspirational lingerie? What is your fashion style? Below are some of the pages I did:
I discovered my preference to be a classic and earthy style with a pop of color. I also saw my favorite hues of purple, blue and gray. I like the simplicity of no makeup but occasionally the look of crimson lips.
- I learned to peg my enjoyment. Most of us are busy with work, home and daily activities. This next step allows you to pick images of what makes you smile and playful, the things that you enjoy. What was your childhood source of fun and enthusiasm? Cut out photos of your simple pleasures.
Imagine an entire day with no schedule, no duties. What would this day be? For me, as seen below, my first page was a big “R”—for Rest. I would have my dream couch and curl up in it, reading a book or watching my favorite show.
Playtime includes collecting my favorite toy cars and enjoying a garden view. Enjoyment is having a perfect sunny side up, writing poetry and driving my dream car.
“Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake”—wise words from Marie Beynon Ray.
- I realized what truly mattered. This next step pushes you to define: “What is success to you?” It helped me distinguish external success and its inner reflection. While picking photos of these “success” images, remember to ask how achieving these would make you feel.
Start looking through photographs in your younger years on what success was for you. Was it that dance recital or spelling bee you were chosen for? Was it your 18th birthday party when all your family and friends were there?
Then look into the future and how you see your happy life to be.
I realized after doing the collages that most of my pages included children. I wished to be married, have a girl and a boy, travel the world and have time for my thoughts.
- I started to build. We are near halfway through. Now it is time to build that home you crave. There is no limit on the budget. Cut photos of your dream interior and exterior design. What are the comforting elements of your ideal home? How do you see your own garden? How would you celebrate in your own dream party?
For me, I chose the hues of brown, orange and yellow. I like benches near the sunlight. And I would like a nice big TV screen.
Don’t worry about time. You can do this all in one day or a section in a few months. I finished doing this book in three years with still some blank pages.
Next week, we continue with the last four steps of this journey.
