CONTEMPORARY French philosopher André Comte- Sponville lists politeness as the first among the virtues. True, politeness can be put on. Indeed, in its nature, it doesn’t come naturally; it needs to be put on, but at the very least it is a superficial kindness. Politeness endeavors to avoid hurt feelings. It is a sign, even if at times insincere, that one accords others an equal respect. Politeness is not the first virtue because the others derive from it, but because it takes practice to be polite. Indeed, the virtue of politeness lies in its practice, as with other virtues. For example, honesty must be practiced to be a virtue.
The practice of the virtues must begin in childhood when there is no occasion for a child to be honest— indeed he cannot be dishonest because he has only a loose grasp on lying—but there is always reason for it to be polite. A child is thirsty—it must say, “please, may I have water?” or “please, carry me.” And, always, “I am sorry,” say for stomping on your toes, which children are in the habit of doing gratuitously.
Immanuel Kant did not think politeness a virtue, but he believed that early discipline is the school of virtue. Teaching a child to be polite is the first practice of virtue, which, as I said, does not come naturally, but must be taught. And yet, politeness is virtue’s finest example, or at least the most graceful. There is never a time or a reason to be impolite. One can be firm, but never bastos.
Politeness is essential in political campaigns. Once, Cory Aquino told me: “If you keep waving at people without looking at them you should step out of the car.” One morning, a reporter who had written naughty things about her, said to Cory, “Good morning, ma’am,” as she stepped out of the Guesthouse to the Cabinet meeting across the lawn. She went past him without a word, then, she turned and said, “Good morning.”
If you are a part of a politician’ s campaign, in the most ordinary or in the most intimate capacity, be polite. When you come into your room and a stranger is there, don’t say, “Sino siya?” What an ugly word is siya; say rather, “Hi, can I do something for you?” The visitor is not invisible. Nobody is invisible; even if you felt like that sometime in your life. You were always vivid in someone’s loving eyes.
If you feel the advent of victory, do not snub anybody. In 2010 someone discovered that, overnight, you can turn from a likely winner into a sure loser. Never be proud because, hakuna matata. Indeed, everything in life comes back—to bite you or to kiss you.