ONE day I was sitting in a bench with one of my best friends discussing the difficulties of their dating life. While I’m single for four months, I was thinking of something. Through my mind, I was ranting about how they actually get ahead of me for being in a relationship long enough before I did.
As clichéd as this scenario sounds, it’s one many of us find ourselves in regularly, as always.
I then blurted out, “I wish I could just date myself.” After I’d said this, I realized something: I was serious. I wish I could just date myself. Why not? I think I’m good-looking, I have a good sense of humor and I’m entertaining. So can I find someone who is just me, but in a different form?
We spend our lives looking for our soul mate, our other half: the cream to our coffee, the peanut butter to our jelly and the Yin to our Yang. We’re told “opposites attract” and yet, this doesn’t seem to be a dating reality; it seems like a simple and highly romanticized idea. Why would you want to spend your life with someone who didn’t have much in common with you?
When looking for a partner, are we looking for our “complement” to be our perfect half or someone who’ll have a deeper understanding of us on a basic level? It’s interesting to look at the modern world we live and thrive in. With the rise of the “selfie” and an emphasis on self-love and narcissism in this culture, don’t we all just want to date ourselves?
If given the choice between someone who’s our perfect match in looks, intelligence and humor, wouldn’t we choose that person? Doesn’t that seem like a match made in heaven? Someone who’s actually you? I mean, if you’re somewhat like that.
Instead of feeling an attraction to someone who looks like us is “weird” and “creepy,” maybe we should try and understand why we do this.
Narcissism
RESEARCH shows we tend to be attracted to people who look like our parents. After all, we share physical qualities with our parents.
Science tells us that our genetic imprints guide our choices, faith and destiny in life. Whether you choose to find the right person, there is something in you that would really match up that is similar to which you own.
Think about it: They’re the people you’re first exposed to and their qualities are the first to make an impression on you. Their physical appearances are the first human building blocks in our minds, and the first step toward categorizing what is and is not attractive.
Millennials are a narcissistic bunch. We take countless selfies, we nurture our social-media accounts, we really do love ourselves. (Of course you do.)
And while some may perceive this as a bad thing, it’s really just more interesting than anything else. Perhaps we’re just more confident in our appearances, and since we consider ourselves attractive, we want partners who are on the same level.
Trust, physical traits, personality and different behaviors—that’s all we want to see with our paramour.
When you have a face that looks more like you, you tend to trust it more and think it looks more cooperative. So, because you trust yourself and you know yourself, you’ll inevitably be geared toward a person who shares your facial features.
Many things contribute to attraction. We want someone who’ll be our world, who’ll take on life with us in the most adventurous of ways. Someone who’ll build us up and make us better people. Who better to do that than a person who’s exactly like you?
We do, in fact, just want to date ourselves.