THE rains may not be as hard as the past weeks’, but the after-effects of typhoons Ondoy and Pepeng definitely have left their indelible mark in our collective lives. Some of us have moved on—back to work, back to school. Yet, many of us are still recovering from the destruction it caused—homes that require renovation, cars that are still being fixed. Then, there are those of us who have yet to go back home and have been forced to stay with a family members’ or friends’ house for the meantime, or stay in an evacuation center.

One thing’s for sure: It has changed us. No need to look far as the stories are everywhere, from one’s own experience, a friend, the lady at the supermarket, even the driver of the taxi you’re riding. Four weeks after Ondoy, an officemate who lives in Marikina still talks about lingering memories of swimming for dear life while tightly holding on to a large plastic water container. Neighbors, four guys, rescued him from his second-floor apartment and broke his window with a hammer just so he could get out of his place, where the water was already waist-deep on his second-floor bedroom. He mustered all his might to kick in the murky water toward the roof of another neighbor’s house for six straight hours, trying to ignore the sound of a crying baby beside him. And when the waters subsided to knee level, he was careful not to step on dead dogs and cats.

Another officemate, a mom with two young kids of school age, remembers taking refuge at a friend’s house when the floodwater started to rise in their Quezon City village. But the water kept rising so the two families had to move to the roof already. The two fathers from each family tried to grab relief bags thrown at them by a chopper above. Unfortunately, it fell in the water. While one of the men tried to reach toward it, other men dived to grab the bags that were intended for them. To this day, my officemate says, her children have a hard time sleeping when it’s raining at night. When she and her husband discuss it with them, the kids stay quiet, refusing to talk about it.

It takes about three years to recover from the mental trauma caused by disasters like Ondoy and Pepeng, say experts. But with the events still fresh, healing by seeking professional help could ease the burden of remembering the calamity and its aftermath. My father’s former officemate, for instance, still tries to avoid elevators as much as possible years after she was trapped in an elevator for hours in a Baguio City building during the July 16, 1990, earthquake.

Generally, Filipino families hardly go to therapists or counselors to solve problems and issues. But in the case of the effects of the recent disasters, experts like Roderick Marfil, an Enneagram practitioner and a family therapist who holds clinic at the Integrated Lifestyle and Wellness (Ilaw) Center at Miriam College, believes that families deeply affected by the calamity should consider seeking help. With the recent disaster, Marfil is currently under the debriefing volunteer program of the Ilaw Center and the Center for Family Ministries at the Ateneo de Manila University.
He shares, “Our culture is not much into professional counseling. This seems to be so because counseling, whether solicited or unsolicited, is freely given and received from the typical support system of family and friends.

“Having said this, the family/friends support system would have been the natural route for a Filipino trauma victim to pursue, except that this time, the extent of devastation caused by Ondoy and Pepeng was so enormous that even the family members and friends themselves are experiencing trauma.

“Apart from the basic relief operations mobilized by concerned groups to meet at least the basic physical needs [rescue/evacuation, food, clothing, temporary shelters and perhaps eventual relocation], the psychological needs of the victims must also be addressed. The initial intervention is referred to as debriefing. Debriefing is not counseling. Its goal is to help the victim get past the trauma experience and reenter society in his/her pretrauma incidence state, helping avoid a dysfunctional state or what is referred to as Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD.”

Marfil adds that reactions to shock or trauma are unique to the individual, but here are the general symptoms:

·         Difficulty sleeping (nightmares) and eating, weary, prone to illness

·         Depression, anxiety, feelings of morbidity (tendency to hoard), sadness, anger

·         Lack of focus, not able to solve/find solutions to problems, confused

·         Isolation, difficulty starting/accomplishing tasks, irritable

·         Difficulty praying, self-doubt, spiritually numb

He adds, “Although the above are general descriptors to trauma, behaviors or acting out these descriptors may be unique to the victims.”

Young children especially need to be in a supportive and caring environment after going through a traumatic experience. So, it’s up to their parents or older members of family to see that they get such. Marfil explains, “Generally, children are able to make sense of their experiences through the perceptions, behaviors, manner of communicating and group dynamics of adults—how the adults go about the telling and retelling of their experiences, their frustrations, anger, sadness and loss; how they dealt with the situation, their learnings in hindsight; and strategies of coping and getting on with life.

“Yet, sometimes, victims are simply too overwhelmed to get out of trauma. Hopefully, the other members of the family are able to acknowledge this [see symptoms] and seek professional help.”

Talk it over

Families need to talk over and over again what happened, how they felt, and how they should deal with the situation or other emergencies. Says Marfil, “Trauma or loss is a very personal experience. Yes, the family should talk about their personal experience, but the focus is on the storyteller, being careful not to intrude into the personal experiences of others. The focus is on the ‘I’ and not the ‘you’ in storytelling.

“Also, it would be a good idea to avoid watching television playing and replaying out the scenes of the tragedy, as this may only aggravate the condition by ‘being stuck in time and thinking.’”

Time is definitely a factor when it comes to recovery and healing from shock. But doing it together is one big step already. Meanwhile, Marfil suggests some family rituals or routines:

·         Put back that sense of place. Ease basic self-care back in place—this includes eating, sleeping, interacting with other members of the family to return that sense of security at home.

·         Be with community, move as a community. Although the experience of the tragedy is personal, the event is not. Members of the community also experienced it as well. Experiencing the loss in a community environment brings out a sense that we are not alone.

·         Pray together. Rediscover the God of your understanding. Tragic events make the presence of God more personal. Pray as a family, pray as a community.

***Roderick Marfil may be reached through the Integrated Lifestyle and Wellness (Ilaw) Center of Miriam College, Katipunan Avenue, Quezon City or through 580-5400, local 1134 or 0917-6673801.