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NO
doubt, not a few among you have become familiar with
Jimmy Kimmel’s brand of comedy via the countless
snippets of Jimmy Kimmel Live! on YouTube. Now,
you no longer have to content yourself with super-grainy
snippets, as Star World brings Jimmy Kimmel Live!
to Filipino homes and across the region beginning this
month. Here, sample Kimmel’s humor with 12 of his most
quote-worthy Quips:
On
Pamela Anderson filing for divorce
“She’s
citing fraud as the reason for the breakup. Which is
kind of funny—Pamela Anderson is the last person who
should be complaining that something is fake.”
On
Angelina Jolie’s ever-expanding family
“She
adopted her first child in Cambodia, her second in
Ethiopia, gave birth to her third in Namibia, and now
from Vietnam. She’s working her way down the alphabet.
Stay cool, Yemen, she’s coming.”
On
Barack Obama’s visit to Germany
“It was
kind of surprising; they really love Obama in Germany.
He’s like a rock star over there. It’s impressive until
you realize that David Hasselhoff is also like a rock
star over there.”
On Jamie
Lynn Spears’s baby girl
“By the
way, we’re not too far from one of the scariest
sentences uttered this decade: ‘Aunt Britney’s coming
over to babysit.”
On
America’s ‘Take Your Child to Work Day’
“In case
you didn’t know, today was Take Your Child to Work
Day—or as it’s known in China, Thursday.”
On
American Idol’s charity special, Idol Gives Back
“Last
year they raised $76 million. This year, they estimate
they raised more than $100 million to be divided between
a variety of good causes including: fighting malaria,
Save the Children, and the search for a cure for
whatever is wrong with Paula.”
On
presidential hopeful John McCain
“Overall, he’s in great shape. Doctors say he could
potentially live all the way through 2010.”
On Paris
Hilton wanting a baby
“She’s
apparently very serious about it and promised to love it
and feed it until it gets too big for her purse.”
On
Jimmy Kimmel Live! reaching it 1000th episode
“Before
tonight’s show, the only think I ever had a thousand of
was McNuggets in my stomach. So this is big.”
On
Hilary Clinton’s bid for the presidency
“In a
speech to union leaders yesterday, Clinton compared
herself to Rocky Balboa and I think she’s right on with
that comparison because people seem to forget—Rocky lost
to a good-looking black guy.”
On Brad
Pitt’s twins
“Brad
Pitt three years ago had zero kids. Now all of a sudden
he’s the father of six children. By the time he’s in
Ocean’s 19, Brad Pitt will have 58 kids!”
“Angelina Jolie, after weeks of rumors and speculation,
gave birth to twins—a Chinese boy and an African girl.”
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