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THE
third Pirates of the Caribbean has plenty of...It’s
possible that someone, somewhere, has put together a
flowchart or diagram tracking the many plots, subplots,
digressions, divagations and flights of whimsy in
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, which,
depending on your tolerance for Byzantine complication
for complication’s sake, might have been alternately
titled At Wit’s End.
The
third in a series that appears to be hinting at
immortality in more ways than one, Pirates 3 demands
intimate knowledge of the first two installments, not to
mention a sterling memory and attention span. In other
words, it pays to be prepared. Seriously, this thing is
a stern master—walk in casually off the street and you
risk nearly three hours of very high-octane confusion.
For the
diligent and the faithful, however, director Gore
Verbinski and screenwriters Terry Rossio and Ted
Elliott, laboring under the bombastic tutelage of Jerry
Bruckheimer, have assembled another collection of
exciting set-pieces with bellowed dialogue in between.
Exciting, distracting and quite possibly permanently
concentration-impairing, what Pirates of the Caribbean:
At World’s End offers is a wonderfully scenic medley of
impressive action sequences so lengthy, elaborate and
numerous that remembering what came before becomes a
kind of test of mental focus. Me, I failed it, but then,
my concentration is shot. If the following plot summary
sounds clear and well-ordered, I should probably mention
that I consulted secondary materials to help me make
sense of what I’d just seen. Any ensuing clarity, in
other words, shouldn’t be taken as a reflection of my
addled viewing experience.
At the
beginning of the film, Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom
Hollander), chairman of the East India Trading Co., has
imposed martial law, suspended habeas corpus and begun
rounding up suspected insurgents—or rather, pirates—and
systematically hanging them regardless of sex, age or
the condition of their teeth.
Those
who remember the end of the last film will recall that
when we last left our growing cast of heroes, Will
Turner (Orlando Bloom), Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley)
and the crew of the Black Pearl were hiding out with the
witch Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), who brought Capt.
Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) back from the dead in order to
lead the crew in the rescue of Capt. Jack Sparrow
(Johnny Depp), who, when we last saw him, was being
swallowed by an adipose sea monster called the kraken.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Elizabeth,
Will and Capt. Barbossa have traveled to
Singapore
to steal a navigational chart from the Chinese pirate
Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat). Some intrabuccaneerial fighting
ensues, but it eventually becomes apparent that they
must band together with the other lords of the pirate
clans to defeat Beckett and Davy Jones (Bill Nighy),
whose heart Beckett now possesses.
It’s
nearly an hour before we lay eyes on Jack Sparrow,
marooned on the desert island that is Davy Jones’
locker, confronting various doppelgängers and muttering
to himself about nosy rocks. Until now, the movie has
had a stewy quality—the baroque art direction is
impressive but oppressive after a while, and it’s hard
to see or breathe. Jack’s minimalist introduction on a
sun-drenched patch of sand is a respite that immediately
perks things up.
As
before, the main characters’ motives are multifarious
and usually ulterior: Will wants to save his father and
marry Elizabeth, Davy Jones wants his heart back,
Beckett wants the chart as well as the “nine pieces of
eight” the pirate leaders possess, Jack wants
immortality, everyone wants to be captain. None of it,
ultimately, matters very much. Like its predecessors,
Pirates 3 is a ride (an improvement on the last one,
which looked like a ride) that takes us from Singapore,
across a frozen ocean, over a giant waterfall to the
surrealist desert, to a constructivist Shipwreck Cove
and beyond. We get waterlogged ghosts, removable brains,
monkey cannonballs and a 50-foot woman.
All this
interprotagonist squabbling and wanting and pining and
plotting just bogs down the spectacle, and I can’t
describe the depths of my despond as the movie continued
to pick up narrative threads past the second-hour mark.
I almost hate to say it, but at this point, why bother
with a story at all? We’re here for the cheekbones and
the swords and the tentacle-faces, and we don’t have all
day.
In
broody moods and Mystic-tanned to near oblivion (Knightley
is painted a distracting orange), Bloom and Knightley
nevertheless make a nice swashbuckling couple together.
Keith Richards makes a desultory appearance as Capt.
Teague, Jack’s father, but the bit doesn’t add much
beyond an obligatory meta-nod to Depp’s actorly
inspiration. As the eternally ambivalent and ambiguous
Jack Sparrow, Depp, meanwhile, is the soul of the movie
and, as before, completely absconds with the show.
Personally, I’d rather see him dine with relish on half
a peanut than sit through yet another CG-whiz sequence,
but maybe that’s just me. |