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ACTUALLY, this is an inaccurate quote widely attributed
to William Shakespeare. What he actually wrote was:
“Frailty, thy name is woman”—which a dismayed Hamlet
uttered following the marriage of his mother, Queen
Gertrude, to her husband’s brother Claudius only a month
after the King had passed away. Nevertheless, the quote
has morphed over the years to its present “vanity” form.
Maybe it was probably created by some editor trying to
think of a good title, a pun really, for his piece on
why women are obsessed with looking young.
While it
is true that we women spend years scraping the bottoms
of hundreds of jars in search of the perfect
anti-wrinkle cream or moisturizer, and spend thousands
of pesos in weekly visits to our dermatologists for
facials, men are no longer far behind in the vanity
department. And I’m not just talking about the so-called
metrosexual revolution.
As I sit
patiently waiting for my regular turn at the
dermatologist’s clinic, I have come to notice how there
seems to be more and more men sitting alongside me.
During a recent visit, wrapped in my white hospital gown
and resting on my back, I asked my therapist how many
male patients she’s handled over the few years she’s
been there. She told me that while she can’t remember
the exact number, she believes that she has an
equivalent number of male and female patients. In fact,
she added, “Naku, ma’am, minsan mas maarte pa sila sa
mga babae!”—which, of course, amused me no end.
I asked
her if most of the men she had treated were of the,
ahem, female persuasion, and she said that while a few
of them definitely were, there were also quite a number
of straight men who are regular visitors. Of course,
there are the usual teenagers with severe acne problems
brought in by their concerned mothers, but most of the
males my therapist has treated are young and mid-career
executive types as well as several artistas. All
of them just go to her for facials alone. Some usually
come with their girlfriends, while the others just walk
in alone. She agreed with my observation that there is
an increasing number of men now concerned about
protecting and even pampering their skin.
Which
isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I mean what woman would
want to smooch with a man whose face could rival
Texas
in the number of oil deposits? After all, there was a
time that the only concern of men were getting
clean-shaven faces. Seeing an opportunity, manufacturers
started peddling shaving lotions and after-shave
colognes, promising that women would fall at their feet
when they smelled the unguents on their men’s smooth
faces.
Of
course in the Old Spice days, there were already some
men who got manicures while getting their hair cut at
their friendly neighborhood barbershop. After their
nails were clipped and the cuticles nipped and pushed
back, clear polish would be swept on the nails of their
pudgy fingers. When I was growing up and I’d see one of
these men come out of their barbershops, I would let out
a silent “Eeew!” in my head. I noticed that most of the
men I saw with manicures were mostly old, with toupees
and white shoes. Now that I’m older and supposedly more
mature, seeing straight men with manicured nails still
make me go “Ick!”
These
days, men are buying complete sets of skincare and
facial treatments. They have their own body lotions,
bath soaps, colognes and perfumes, scrubs and body
polishes; they even have their own spa, put moisturizers
on their face, and—gads!—even makeup! (Now this reminds
me of a former senator and ex-cabinet secretary whom my
friend and I bumped into while eating at a restaurant.
He got down from his van and upon seeing us, he said, “Hindi
ako nagme-makeup ha! Galing lang ako sa TV
show!” The comment left us briefly speechless because
that was the last thing we ever expected to hear from
this politician. All we could manage was a weak “Oh-kay!”,
afterwhich my friend and I looked at each other,
stunned. Whatever happened to “Hello… Kumusta kayo”
or “Iboto nyo ako sa sunod na halalan”? Geez.)
So I
have a fiftysomething male cousin, very much married and
whom we always kid as being so popular among the females
in the city he resides in, he could win the mayorship
hands down. At the wake of my brother a couple of years
back, my mother noticed that my cousin had such smooth
skin for someone his age, considering that he spends a
lot of time under the sun because of his job. My Dick
Tracy of a mother asked him in front of other relatives
if he followed any skin care regimen. My cousin was only
happy to oblige us with his “beauty secret.” (Pay
attention now.) He proudly said that before going to
bed, every night he washes his face with placenta soap
and leaves the lather on overnight. This is why his skin
is taut and tight, he said. He boasted that even his
wife has adopted that same nightly skin care regimen,
with the same results apparently.
We
couldn’t help but laugh our asses off at the thought of
our Cousin, a stud by reputation, being so vain about
his face! And this is someone who lives in the province
where the pace is oh-so-slow, people have dinner at 6 pm
and are asleep by 9 pm! Apart from this, my cousin isn’t
given to any other vanities and is quite comfortable
with his pot belly (the girls still love him after all!)
and wearing plain tees with jeans and sneakers, unlike
the so-called metrosexuals of this generation who are
passionate about dapper clothes and fabulous home
interiors.
In the
US alone, the men’s skin care industry has been
estimated at $150-$200 million alone. A lot of research
and development has gone into studying men’s personal
hygiene habits. Thanks in part to the “himbo” syndrome
and marketing geniuses, growing numbers of men are now
conditioned to think that taking that extra step in
protecting their complexion isn’t so gay after all. It’s
just part of good grooming. Undoubtedly, Queer Eye
for the Straight Guy has been a real influence as
well. (“Real men exfoliate!” screamed a Boston Globe
headline a few years back.) We will probably delude
ourselves thinking they’re doing all this upkeep for us.
Not on your life. They’re doing this all for themselves.
If Shakespeare was living today, I wonder what he’d say
about that. |
